H is Having Affair after all - Part 2

[Evie]

Thanks Seek,

I had some flowers bought me by D2, ;ovley lilies, my favorites.

D1 returned from France last Friday, so the house was full of family and friends all over the weekend.

H came on Friday to collect S2 and just walked into the house, nobody was expecting him ( I was, but I expected him to knock) so everyone went quiet.

Later on H texted D1 and said she looked well, he would have liked to have hugged her and that he loved her.

I'm afraid he has deeply hurt the girls. I took D2 to the Drs last Friday and she is being referred to a counsellor for anxiety isssues. In the meantime I'm arranging some private counselling through the school counsellor.

People say i'm starting to look better. Other people who have seen H say he has aged and looks dreadful. He does actually, when i saw him last week, he looked absolutely worn out (probably up all nite sh&gging...)

I think he thought I would be screaming and shouting and crying etc, but I have distanced myself as much as possible, I just don't want to talk to him let alone be in the same room as him. I love him still, although not the person he has become and i never realised how controlling he was until recently and I think I was so easy going that I'd go along with anything he suggested, maybe i was too passive?

H casually dropped the D word into conversation last week and it has made me feel a bit down. I don't want a divorce and I told him so, he said ok we'll go for a 2 year S then...he seems so callous about it all. It appears to me that he can't get D from me or sell the house quick enough. I don't know whether to make a clean break now and file for D?