[quote=runningoutoftime] Something I had once read pointed out that kids subconsciously see themselves as a "product" of both parents, and if one parent is talking about how "bad" another parent is they tend to take this as something bad in themselves. Also, I think it destroys attachment. For example, if you can't trust mom or dad (who previously had been like a superhero) who can you trust? With trust broken early in life many often grow up with trust issues.
I agree about the talking about how a parent is bad that that tend to think of this as something bad in themselves (I've read that too. And I try not to say anything negative about my H and in fact don't really talk about him that much at all. But I think the kids lose trust in their parent anyway sometimes when they are a WAS and emotionally check out by being out with OP or texting them when they are home or breaking promises (my H did all of that for the first several months of his PA).
I think (well I hope anyway) that kids are ok if they have one good parent that is stable, trustworthy, and there for them. (I was raised by a really loving & dependable single dad so another reason why I think that). Karen
Karen
