Well, after 9 months of doing my best to survive the train wreck and protecting my children and doing what's best, I am done with my WAW. My D13 told me tonight that my wife is 4 months pregnant by the OM. She is the only child of our 4 that knows and she has kept this to herself for a month.
My poor child, how has she lived with this secret, held it in and not even told me.
I am sorry dear daughter for anything that I have said that has upset you in this difficult time and wished that you had told me what you knew so I could ease your pain.
This came from D13 tonight after I had filed a CPS report last night because the OM had threatened S11 with a "punch in the jaw" on Saturday night because my wife said that he had pushed her over and kicked her. Nonense and I know the story behind it. She can tell the OM anything now she is pregnant and he will believe it. This is the way she controls the children - Fear.
How can she do this to me and our children. We are still married and said our vows in front of God. What person would leave for another man, take the children to a stranger and strange home, split the family unit up, neglect them in favor of her new love and then have a another child when she is struggling with 4 of her own.
What is it going to do for these children? A baby not of their father and mother's, mom not sleeping, baby crying, mom sleeping and not having time/energy for them, children not liking OM and he will have to look after them, children not OM's and lack of interest in them on his part and mutual love of new baby.
What about extra cost of everything baby related, lack of space in OM's home. It goes on and on. She has no time for them now and D13 school grades are suffering.
I just can not believe she is stupid enough to put our other 4 at risk like this. They are ages 5-13 and they need all the love, attention and support they can get.
A part of me wanted her back but the other part believed it was the familiarity of her that I wanted and not her as a person. Obviously, I wanted the children and family unit back and will regret what has happened to the children forever.
I now am so disgusted and ashamed at what she has done as a person and human being, that I would never take her back, I would not lower myself to her level.
That is the thing about DB IMHO. You start not knowing what to do, you learn everything you can, listen and talk to people on this site and you GAL, you gather strength from every source you can, you prey and go to church (well I did anyway), you overcome adversity, take pride in yourself and you get stronger and you do what you can to protect your children and you become a better person for it, whether your spouse comes back or not.
We all want them to come back and we fight for our marriages and those ones that succeed are truly graced but regardless we all grow vastly in ourselves. I am much more confident, stronger and happier as a person now. I have felt this has been a test by God or whoever and I am proud of my achievements as an individual.
Yes, I wish I was never here in the first place and if I could have had my wife back at some point earlier so that we could repair our relationship that would have been my wish but I can not control her, only me and although we can only work on ourselves, it takes 2 in the end to reconcile.
I miss reading posts by Saffie, Jarhead, Ohio Mark, Joie, Theo and sorry, all the others I posted to around that time btween Nov 07 and Feb 08 and I wish them a happy and prosperous fulfilling life whoever that may be with.
I could not have got to where I am today without DB and the support of this web site. Something I was obsessed with daily from post bomb. Looking for a miracle answer to my problem.
I have been humbled and am honoured to have fought shoulder to shoulder with everyone here because I believe in marriage and family and still do.
I am not fearful of my future and will not support my wife over this baby. Our 4 children deserve a better life.
