Thanks cat. It's been about 15 months since he left and 13 months since our divorce. I've had my share of down days, crying spells, etc. (never in front of him) but it serves me no purpose now. I decided to accept "what is" instead of resisting it about 3 months ago and I have so much more peace. It probably also helped that he never blamed any of this on me or was mean in any way. He lied, and had other typical MLC behaviors, but was never angry with me.
I've also seen how much my XH has suffered. He has lost his job, has very little money, and drinks heavily. It doesn't make sense to add to his guilt and misery. Recently he has gotten a new job, but at half of what he was making before.
He called tonight but no mention was made of last night--his being drunk or the conversation. He was sober and seemed okay. He said he would call tomorrow. So, life goes on--I'm not thinking about the future because I can't control that anyway. Trying to live in the present moment.
