Today I was having a hard time. I had a terrible headache at work and also I was having this urge to call H. I really think this is the hardest part (...other than the VERY beginning), things are going good...but I still don't know exactly where we stand. He did say he wants to go slow and I have to respect that.
I am finding myself craving more time with H, which is great because I haven't felt that way in a couple of months. So today as I was dealing with the urge to call H...my phone buzzes. It was H. He sent me a text message that said "Are you having a good day so far?" I really was surprised by this, he just hasn't done things like that since before the affair. We texted back and forth for a while and decided on cooking dinner together on Wednesday.
I went running tonight and when I got in my car afterwards, I saw H had called. His message said he was just calling to talk and see how I was doing and how my day went. When I called him back, he seemed really excited to talk to me.
I do think he is backing up his words with actions, although I am a little suspicious. I can't help it. I feel like I am just waiting for the next ball to drop, and I am scared to get too close.
I really think the book is helping A LOT. H has made me feel that I am being irrational and obsessive about his A. Everything I have felt is in that book. It really is validating my feelings while showing me how to work through them.
