To watch my H lately, you'd think I'd be calm and happy. Oh but no! I've been so angry lately. I seem to be swirling in a cloud of rage. I keep trying to redirect my energies but am unable to sustain a change.
I try to hide this from H as much as possible, however, I think some of it squeezes out around the edges.
I know this sounds awful, but I actually have violent thoughts running rampant in my head at times. Sometimes it is directed at him, sometimes at OW.
Yesterday, when my H called to tell me that he had to work late, my heart started thumping so hard in my chest I had to lie down. Right now my palms are sweating.
Oh well, perhaps it is part of the depression/anxiety thing.
