I don't believe you should keep this secret. I told everyone on the planet when my H filed for D. I also told him that he had to explain this to the kids. (Although, looking back, I could have done it.... but I had wanted him to have that task since he was the one filing for the D....). I think the more real you make it now the less drawn out the pain and healing are. Also, it forces everyone to deal with the full reality of the situation immediately. How it affects everyone....
The first one you need to tell is your daughter. She's still young so she doesn't need to know every detail, but you need to explain what's happening and make sure she realizes this is not because of her. Kids have a tendency to think they somehow caused the whole thing.
Everyone will know eventually. There is no reason to prolong any secrets... I think the sooner you deal with it, the better. Prolonging it only prolongs the hurt and puts off the healing.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
