Quotes found on Divorcebusting (II)

[Ready2Change]

Some more:

People don't change because they are talked into it. Did you change when she was nagging you? No, it took an action on her part, truly intending to leave you, to make you take action.
-Just_Me

She didn't reach the point of divorce overnight....she won't reach the point of reconciliation overnight either. And she might not ever reach that point...but you can't control that.
-Just_Me

Positive state of mind for those fighting for the marriage:
Write down 10 positive things about your Spouse.
Write down 5 of the happiest moments when you were together.
Write down 3 things you need to work on.
Do this excerise, the reason we focus on the positives that happened and the happy moments that happened is because they already occured, they can't be taken away! We write down three things we need to work on because we can only change and control ourselves, it us up to others to control and change themselves.
-thegoodfight

It is okay to screw up we all do it. It is very good to admit mistakes and correct them. I call this being an adult. Forgive yourself and you will find in time it will make it easier to forgive others also. This is how we grow as human beings.
-thegoodfight

It's time to be brutally honest with yourself -- what have you done wrong in your R, and what behaviors do you believe need to be changed? It seems that everything I've read so far is blame towards your H. H did this, H did that, etc. Ask yourself why he has gone somewhere else to get his needs met (which also means you need to determine what his needs truly are and how you've not met them and why).
- Gone Dancin'

A few things I learned last night in my little on line course...
"the moment you surrender to the worst possible thing that can happen to you, the door opens to the divine"
"the past has no power over the present"
"your repetitive negative emotions are only creating more negative emotions"
"accept the discomfort and the pain for what it is in order to move past it"
-JennyF

I am sure at some point or other you have either thought or said that you would gladly give your life for your W or your kids. Well what you need to do now is not that drastic, so gladly throw yourself into this knowing that you will BOTH come out of this stronger and happier.
-steve477

DONT tell OMs W. Tempting at times I know. But think of it this way. If you tell his W and she leaves him, then he is free to persue your W. Counter productive dont you think!
-steve477

Your W is not in love with him, she is in love with the idea of being in love with him. Remember when you were inlove? Its about how the other person made YOU feel about yourself, it was a good feeling, but it never lasts
-steve477

I think I said the serenity prayer a thousand times.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.

I can understand why you backslide. It's hard to maintain your composure when they are spitting venom and vile. My W brings up things that have happened in the past because she does not have anything bad to bring up that I have done since I have changed. They see our changes and get pissed about them at first, add a dose of guilt on their part and they can get real riled during R talks.
- M from Tennessee

AND if you forgive someone...you never use it against them in the future. Think hard about that
-Jack_Three_Beans

but I had kids to become a family, not to be a broken family and seperate holidays and not experience things as a family
-gabbysmom23