To agree to a D or not..... that is the question

[Jeanette1120]

Allison,

I have to leave work now....I know, I want to stay so badly but uhm....NOT!

I will check in on you when I get home..

Take some time to count your blessings, you do have many.

We are here for you. We always will be.

Hugs,

Jeanette

[Maya44]

Allison, you didn't give up at all. You have been here how long now and feel like a failure? No. Not at all. Not in our books here.

[ACJ]

Thank you for being here for me at the worst moment of my life. I have to go to bed now othewise I won't be up for uni in the morning. It's the last place I feel like going but I can't afford to get any further behind.

[Maya44]

Try and sleep well Allison. Take a hot bath and relax some. I'll be back on tomorrow as well.

[naej]

Alison, maybe you were fighting for something that didn't really exist any longer.an ideal' a possession, a dream.
but you are real, your family is real. Fight for YOU for THEM. They need you.

Believe me/us it takes far more courage to move on than to hang on to something that is long gone. Just get the financial side sorted through your solicitor. Have no contact with him over this -its less painful and quicker. Don't prolong the hurt by seeing him.

One day you will wonder why you thought you had no life without him.

[ACJ]

Alison, maybe you were fighting for something that didn't really exist any longer.an ideal' a possession, a dream

Maybe you know my H Naej he thinks I have no grasp of reality too.

[naej]

NO Alison don't know your H , but I do know me and I was very much like you many years ago.
Sleep well.

[cagzmom]

Right now in my own eyes I am a failure. Why would I want to broadcast that to the world?

If you see you as a failure - then you would have to see me as one, Trusting as one, Jeanette as one... do you see it?

I too feel like a failure..I couldn't fix it, couldn't get him to lvoe me, want me, want to change himself....the feeling is overwhelming at times.....but then I think of my friends on here - those who have NOT FAILED...and if I am doing what htey have done..
1)taking care of me
2)focusing on fixing what were my issues
3)letting someone go who needs to run
THEN i must not be a failure.....DIVORCE (i hate htat word) is suppose to not be about us failing, but about the ending of something that has died...we DID NOT KILL it...the life was snuffed out by another.

[sgctxok]

I just told my H that once the financials are sorted he can have his D.

My time here is now definately over.

ACJ--You are a good woman. A good mom. And I am so so sorry this has happened to you. It isn't your fault.

And God can turn all this for good.

You can have an even better life.......you have a chance to recreate yourself anew, and we will be here for you.

And we need you too.

sg

[cat03]

when stbx came back I thought I was done here, I was wrong. When the D bomb was dropped i thought i was done here, I was also wrong. We come here not because we have all the answers and have never uttered a careless word or messed up royally, we come here because regardless our mistakes we decide to move on and give all we can... until it is time to realize we've fought enough (those who D) and that we must choose a different path.

I gave up the fight. Something I said I would never do.

were you unforgiving, had an om or rebuf chances to fix the M? then no, you didnt' give up. Some of us have no choice than to accept the man/women we married are no longer there and we mourn the M, keep the good times in the back of our minds, pack our bags and choose a new destination. You said you wouldnt' give up, and you didn't, it is him who has made it clear his life is heading elsewhere and who wants the D.

still in my prayers hon))))