Bring on the Rain

[SueS]

Thanks for the responses everyone.

mcojh- I have to say what I told my best friend today. I just have so many things on my mind right now that I can't wrap it around anything else right now. I can't hurt my child and not let her go see her grandpa & cousin. I feel weak and lost, but I feel it's better right now to go along than to put up a fight. I'm stronger overall, but for some reason, the past few weeks have been tough for me and I don't have the strength to fight this fight with him right now. Ask me in a few weeks when I have some of my finances in order and off my mind and can replace those thoughts with others.

Sara- Maybe it was his way of teasing, but I sure didn't get that from his tone of voice. 3 years ago he was very down & depressed because he wasn't working & had just been rejected from a position he'd applied for. We'd just moved to MN. He threatened to move back to IL and take D4 with. My "mommy" feelings kicked into gear. I took her and left. I took his phone calls & met him the next day, but refused to bring D4 with me. That feeling flashed through me again today. I felt threatened.

tal- His family has an idea of what's going on. My BIL & SIL really know a lot more. In talking to a good friend today, she made me start thinking. I think that he knows how it will look if I don't come down with him. It will make him look bad. The family will KNOW that there are problems beyond what they already suspect. Me coming along isn't just for a babysitter, it's to put off the inevitable of telling his family and to make him look good.

I guess what I'll do is make the best of it for D4. Maybe I'll take her on a train ride downtown Chicago and to Navy Pier. Or, meet SIL (she works in Chicago) for lunch or talk her into taking 1/2 day off and we can ride home with her. I'd like to see some friends too. I won't see much of H anyway. He plans on being with his friends on Friday & his brother on Saturday.

Oh yeah.....H said he talked to his brother and as a special treat, they'll do a cookout for SIL & I for Mother's Day. Guess maybe H did feel like a bit of an a$$ for being the way he was.

Thanks everyone. As always, you were a big help.

SueS