BT you wrote: I have made major changes in me. Her biggest issue was that i didn't pay enough attention to her and probabily to much to the kids. I offered myself to her but was rejected. I no longer drink at all. Not that I ever had a problem. I didn't drink a lot just often. I would have two drinks and fall asleep. I am much more available to anyone who needs me. She always complained about my weight. I now weight less than I did my last year of High School (to skinny). I am dressing better. I probabily use to work to hard and played to much golf. I do less of both. There are other smaller things that I have also corrected. I am no angel and I am certainly at fault for at least 50% of this and I am sorry if I gave anyone any different impression." BT, we've all contributed in one way or another to our M's breaking down. I too was accused of caring for the kids more than the W, I lost 45 lbs when the doctor told me I had diabetes and W responded with "Oh sure, when the doctor tells you, then you do something, you didn't listen to me!" There are all sorts of behaviours that egged on our S's discontent. But, bottom line we can only own our parts and try to remedy what we can remedy. Our S's can choose to acknowledge the efforts or not. Often when they are in A's they don't want to see those changes and if they do they will disregard them as "too little too late", nothin' we can do about that except make them anyway! The changes we make are as much about us and our happiness as they are for the M. It goes hand in hand, but we can only control what we do not the way our S's respond. Keep on keepin' on Strong Tree!
