Some things do become different when we accept the fact that we are to become D, despite all our efforts to the contrary. We begin to fold up our old roadmap and start looking for a new one.
Maybe it is time for you to leave the MidLife forum, but not this site. Maybe after a break, check in with the folks you know that moved to Surviving. Think about the fact that this is what happens, we survive.
Something else that happens, teenagers loose their mind and drive us right out of ours. I have a 22yr son that was a much better teen than adult. The only rule is that they must struggle to find themselves and we can do little to make it better for them ... just be there with love when they look our way. That is how he will know you. That will be better than you trying to be the only parent willing to do the work. Take a break for a bit and let his dad deal with things. He will have little more luck and son will be heading your way compaining about how unfair dad is.
Therapy may not have worked well for you in trying to save your M. Please think about marching in one more time and declaring you want help with "acceptance" and making your D as painless a right of passage as possible. Ask someone to help you make the rest of your life more glorious than the law allows. Change your focus. Change your goals. Make them about you and the girls, not the M. Get help accepting what you can not change, and change everything else in your reach.
Let us know how you are. Good, bad, or in between ... come back as you feel you can ... share, vent, ask questions, tell stories ... or just let us refill your drink.
We never stopped caring, and we never will. (((Alison)))
