After 3 long years, H is home

[GoingForward]

Thanks for stopping by, Neecy, Michelle, and ACJ.

Its ok to be worried, I think my biggest problem here would be the shape of a heart(especially if it isn't the refinery stationary).

No, it definitely wasn't the refinery stationary. It was a blank, smiley-faced heart-shaped card. Interesting choice.

But I would think, and I don't know your H, that if it was something that he thought would raise flags he wouldn;t be throwing it down on the table for you to pick up.

Very true.

As far as her using the word I, I think that my employer and supervisors would do the same, it comes more from an area of them thinking that they themselves are extrememly important than it does from an aspect of intimacy.

Didn't think of it that way. It IS very possible that that's all it is.

Is it possible that he was being untruthful but it has nothing to do with a possible OW?

Of course it's possible. Perhaps it could be as Michelle suggested. I think maybe he was out doing something he didn't feel comfortable telling me about. Ummm, maybe he was just out driving around, killing time or something along those lines, and for whatever reason, he didn't want to tell me. Maybe he thought I would be upset or hurt that he didn't want to be at home (spending time with me). I don't know, but it could be.

My H told me he is here for one reason, and for one reason only. It is to "raise the children the right way". To "give them the father I never had". "They are ALL I care about. I don't give a sh** about what happens between you and me."

Did he recant this statement at a later point? I think that if you consider the circumstances that he said this solely to hurt you in the moment.

I think you may be right, although he didn't apologize specifically for saying this to me. I brought it up during an R talk we had yesterday. I told him that it hurt, and I didn't know how to feel or what to think about this M. All he said in response to that was, "I said I was sorry for fighting."

It would have made me feel a little better if I heard, "I'm sorry for having said that. I was angry, people say and do stupid things when they're mad, and it was wrong of me. That's not how I really feel."

But.....I know that's beyond my control. Blech!

Well anyway, Saturday was nice! Had lots of fun at the poker party! Did I mention that it was also a pajama party?! Wow, you should've seen the deck of cards my sister bought for us to use - pictures of hard-bodied naked men! Needless to say, the first few hands we attempted to play took the loooooongest to finish!!! LOL

It was absolutely the break that I needed . I also talked to my sisters a little bit about my sitch. They told me that they admired my strength for sticking it out for as long as I have, and even though things are tough right now, I should just continue with doing what makes me happy (GAL), and it's up to H whether or not he'd like to be a part of that. Gosh, how I love my family! They are so wonderful, and I am very blessed to have them!

Will update some more in a while, mostly about yesterday's R talk. Gotta finish up a couple of chores before heading out to pick up my boys from school.

Thanks again, girls!