BFM, how does someone treat one the way God would while going NC? I'm asking for my own sitch and not necessarily SF's. I think she's doing quite great and being very loving during all this spinning. If you don't want to advise here due to the hijack, you can go to my thread too. Thanks!
Just from reading the last few posts, sounds like you're not strictly 100% NC.
What can you do?
First and foremost keep praying for him and let him know that you are when an opening happens in your contact with him.
Second, don't talk badly about him to him or to anyone else ever. You may think it, but it's best to keep it to yourself as those things will only come back to bite you in the butt later.
Him wanting to tell you about the spritual retreat is good. If he calls to tell you about it tell him that you have great respect for him for doing something like that or that you are so happy for him or just something nice about him going on the retreat.
When he does something good for your D or is being a good dad in some way, recognize it. Let him know how much you appreciate it when opportunity arises.
I prayed for a Christian man to come into FW's life. He now has about 5 that he talks with regularly. God didn't send just one he sent an army!
Our Sunday school just read a book, "Love and Respect". Basically it boils relationships down to a couple of simple facts. Women need to feel loved in a relationship and men need to feel respected.
It was amazing the response from the men in the class about how important being told that we respect them is to them.
I would maintain your distance, but if he contacts you use those opportunities to show him little things without pushing R talk or anything like that. Just that you respect him as a person and as a father and that you are praying for him.
Hope this helps.
BFM
There is only one person who could ever make you happy, and that person is you. David Burns, Intimate Connections
