Glad you are enjoying Eat, Pray, Love. I loved it too. I especially liked that she found peace by talking to herself. I talk to myself all the time, but thought it was bad. And here she is writing notes to herself and answering and it makes all the sense in the world. Richard from Texas is such a great character. I wish there was more about him.
He came this am as usual to take care of d5, didn't say anything about me painting over the mural we were both working on (it was looking good, but I couldnt' finish it by myself, he's the better artist, it was "our" project, he stopped working on it after I found out about ow last year). On my way out I saw ow's parking tag on his car...and it didnt' hurt. I used to get physically ill just looking at it, knowing he came from her despite his claims these past 2mths that he was just "talking" with her. I used to tremble and think of ways about being inflexible with stuff we had to deal with still. Not anymore, I actually didnt' give a da*n, I didn't. Thank you God. It feels so good, to know I have let go of that monkey off my back. Some thought tried to claw its way in my brain, about them together, but they were unsuccessful, I told them "I've btdt, you bring me nothing but misery, I've spent wayyyy to much time with you all, good bye"
Lol, we haven not decided on the shed, we just didnt' have time, perhaps tomorrow. Still dealing with some bills. and perhaps I'm being petty, but it really annoys me he took all our dvds (most of them copies) and won't bring them, claiming he copy them, and 2 other things he took I want. I dont' want to start a fight about stuff that can be replaced, just annoys me a bit.
Had lunch after church with this wonderful lady who comes to church with her 2 kids, i assumed she was D or her H wasn't a believer and didnt' come. So asked her at the table "is your H joining us?" and she said he'd passed away 4yrs ago (ouch! I wanted to bite my tongue!). After dessert we started talking, and she told me how she had been married 2x, the first guy was someone from our same religion... who cheated on her like crazy, even as she was pregnant, how she cried and how he tried to make her think she was the crazy one when she suspected something was amiss. After the D, 2yrs later, she met her late H, whom she says gave her more wonderful memories in 6mths than in the the years she was with xH. How he enjoyed life each day and made her feel so happy everyday, her H was loving and giving to all, put her above himself. Even on his deathbed, his hospital room mate's mother told her he'd greet her with a smile and made her laugh. My friend said she wasn't looking for another R, but if she did, she wouldnt' accept anything less than what she had. That really got to me, and realized, that is exactly the kind of man/R I want, that if it is God will I M again, to be to a man like that, wont take anything less.
Feeling great, God is good.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
Yay for you! You are showing progress. Also your recognition of the "thoughts" trying to climb into your brain is also very important because it happens without realizing it, sometimes triggered by the a place, a song, something having to do with the kids. Just recently, a brother in the church referenced the following verse and used it in a different way. Normally, the men in my accounability group and the guys I associate with a church look at this in reference to temptation. The verse:
Quote:
1 Peter 5:8 Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. 9 Resist him, steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same sufferings are experienced by your
My brother also pointed out that the lion stalks and seeks out the straggler, the weak, the sheep that is a bit of distance from the flock. Our enemy will attack us when we are out of fellowship or when we are hurting and he will attack the wound! One of the biggest wounds to attack is through bitterness and resentment which is why the Lord stressed our need to forgive.
Forgiveness is not so much about making us a holy person but that it protects us from maintaining a weak spot the lion can attack, a wound he can infect.
I spent a lot of time working on forgivenes but even now, I need to be vigilant because that is an area the enemy will attack. You are doing well but I just wanted to share that with you. Your Lord will minister to you and heal you but this wound is easily attacked.
I also feel led to share this video with you, it is soooooo powerful. If you have never seen it, have a tissue avaiable before you play it. Lifehouse "Everything"
Committed2Him- "C2H" All Things (Back from Spain!)...18
God is so good, even in meeting the lady at church, the Lord is showing you many things, even through her loss.
I have posted some deeply personal revelations about a book I read years ago, "My Husband My Maker." The book chronicalled my former pastor's wife's journey and realization that her TRUE husband was indeed, the Lord Himself.
Man will always disappoint/fail us but God never does (when we think He is, we later find out He knew what He was allowing in our lives). I desire to love God more than any one person, more than my kids and more than any future wife? Now if I marry, I am commanded "to love my wife as Christ loved the church" (sacrificially) and I will be a very good husband BUT the Lord will come first. Any woman I start to date will understand this and that will make her a good prospective match because she will also have the same attitude towards any prospective husband.
So, in preparing myself for the possibility of a wife, I simply need to continue to pursue the Lord with all my heart, soul, mind and strength. Everything else will fall into place.
Committed2Him- "C2H" All Things (Back from Spain!)...18
the "everything" skit pulled me through the worst of my ordeals last December when i found stbx at ow's and he was talking D, that song is the only one I actually have downloaded on my phone and night after night I'd play it as I fell asleep, repeating it like a mantra "you are all I want, you are all I need, you are everything, everything". I love it! It still gives me goose bumps, specially when Jesus is pulling the girl over.
A song that friend of mine said pulled her through was "fragile heart", look it up, it is a most beautiful song.
Quote:
I simply need to continue to pursue the Lord with all my heart, soul, mind and strength. Everything else will fall into place.
Yes! we will focus on Him and we'll let HIm deal with the rest
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
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