The divorcebusting.com board rules are very clear. This is a public forum. Sharing personal contact information is not permitted. You violated this rule once and were given a warning. Today, you again decided to post your email address, even after being warned. Because you have disregarded the board rules, you have lost the privilege of posting here and have been banned.
This from Maryangela - posted with her permission:
Hello:
I'm very sorry. I didn't read the rules clearly enough, I can see that. I really need this board as support (and to support others) as I am only in month 2 of my marriage disaster. I can only ask that you reconsider because at this extremely vulnerable and scary time in my life (and my daughter's) this board has been a lifeline. I'm very sorry I broke the rule and it will never happen again.
Anyway, I totally broke just about every db rule last night when h dropped of d5 yesterday. First of all, he got here at 4:30 and stayed for like 4 hours. he did his laundry (he's been doing this every time now), cleaned (nothing to clean!).
I can't stand it. I just blew up. I threatened, told him I was never divorcing him, the works.
Stand back up and be strong! We all backslide. Think of H as someone else. Is he the man you married? Remember he is now "Alien Husband"!
Think of the CHA CHA! If you move toward him, he will move away. It is Your turn NOW! You need to move away until he stops movng away. You need to then move back move until he moves toward you....
Keep us posted on WHAT you are DOING to become happy without H!
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
It's a fresh pain for you right now and Michele's techniques can often seem the opposite of our natural response to the situation. Totally understandable that you lost it the first weekend going through this! Don't worry, "DB-ing" will come easier to you with every opportunity you find, each day, to practice.
Detaching is a process and you learn to let go as you take the focus off everything your H is doing/not doing and put it on achieving the goals you've set for you and your D.
Meanwhile, Ready2Change came up with some great 180s the other day about learning how to text message. Did you get a chance to try it yet? He suggested:
************ Do a 180: let H pursue.... Do a 180: When H calls, let him leave a voice mail. You can listen to it and have more time to think about an appropriate response.
Do a 180 and learn to text. It is really easy. Do a 180 and text him your respose.
Do a 180: Text him and ask for D to call you when you want to talk to her.
