BROKEN TREE WAW / MLC

[Nutty Chick]

Broken Tree.

I do wonder if you are adding to your wife’s problems

I agree with others, to move further away would be better and give her more space. If she is in MLC that is the most important gift you can give her.

I understand your concern about your children but feel that if you have genuine concerns about their safety you should go to the authorities. Even if you are 5 yards away, if they are with a volatile, abuse parent anything could happen.

You don’t seem to believe anything your wife says. You sound so angry with her. Moving out does not mean the emotional ties and anger will subside.


Are you absolutely sure that it is not you in MLC?

Nutty.

[Nutty Chick]

With all due respect to BT, I do not believe that if his wife was a chronic abuser that he would have tolerated it during the Marriage

I agree totally, he clearly loves his children and wants the best for them.

I feel his wife's frustrations stem from not 'being heard' It feels like they are locked in a battle of wills trying to prove themselves right and the other wrong.


(have been there myself! )

Nutty.

[C_K]

BT

I am not realy going to try and give any advice as you alone realy have lived the history with your W and you know inside what you will be able to handle and tolerate.
I actualy think it will be good for your kids to have you reasonably close , and it sounds it will not be so close as that you will need to see each other unless necessary.

I dont see a lot wrong with it.

Take care of your kids , and watch the middle one (16) for some reason they can feel quite alienated particularly at that age.

Dave

[brandnewday]

BT,

I wish for you strength to follow through on this journey of yours.

I pray that you will find peace and that you will one day be able to truly grasp the reality of the situation, not only your perception of it.

I am worried about you, truly, because I do not think you understand some of the ramifications of your actions, and how they will only push your wife further away.

Take care....

[Broken Tree]

Thanks for all of your consideration. I absolutly think that I am doing the right things to move on. My wife wants no part of me
so I am giving her the greatest gift of all and agreeing to what she wants and has been asking for. I am moving out to a home close by on June 16th so I can be close to my kids home and close to work. I have lived in the same town (or very close by) for 48 years. You don't just pick up and move miles away from where you have been you whole life. My kids access to me is the most important thing in the world. I must be close by and live in the school system area that they go to school in. I have passed this by my family, all friends, MC and Pysc. They all think it is a great idea. I will not be stacking anyone. My wife already has at least one friend that she enjoys and I have accepted there is nothing I can do about that. As far as me with another woman, rest assure it is going to be a while. Everyone involved understands this. Thanks for your thoughts and concerns. I promise you I will be OK in my journey and I am sure, after long consideration I am doing the right things.

[Broken Tree]

Living close to my kids is issue number 1. I think these people are concerned with me stalking my wife. I think, because alimony stops when she gets married, that I am going to be sending limo's filled with men to the house and i am going to increase her budget 100% at the beauty parlor. Kinda like the Bachlorette.

I am just trying to give her what she wants. I really want her to be happy and I am really looking forward to my new life how ever hard it will be in the beginning. I need to create a new life and I am working on that now. There is to much unhappyness, arguing and bitterness to continue this. She is getting very bad advice from people she is not telling whole truths to. BS in BS out. It's really a shame but I can not do anything about it. I wish I could help.

[brandnewday]

I think these people are concerned with me stalking my wife. I think, because alimony stops when she gets married, that I am going to be sending limo's filled with men to the house and i am going to increase her budget 100% at the beauty parlor. Kinda like the Bachlorette.

I have no clue as to what you are talking about, honestly.

As a Woman, IF I was having a MLC the last thing I would want is for my STBX living so close to me.

I would think it was a major control issue.

I would believe that you were just trying to make my life even more miserable by living so close to me.

I do understand that your whole life is centered in one area, your kids, your job, etc. I am not telling you that you need to move far away.

I just think that you are "REACTING" to the situation, rather then dealing with it, and handling it well.

You mention that your W is receiving bad advice from many people that she talks to.

Who are you receiving your advice from?

I take it from these last posts of yours that you are not standing for your Marriage any longer, and are done.

That is your choice, and nobody here will judge you in any way, but it is all happening so quickly, the dust hasn't even settled yet, and that is what concerns me.

[almosthopeful]

BT,

There is something about your situation that is really bothering me. I am posting in a hurry and have only had time to read this current thread, so if the Q is answered in a previous thread, my apologies.

You have posted that your wife lashed out at your son.

You have posted separately that you have a recording of your son accusing your wife of beating him.

But I don't see anywhere that you have posted taking your son to a doctor, or counselor, or child psych.

This really troubles me. Have I missed something?

AH

[Broken Tree]

BND,

I really appriciate all of your good will and thoughts. My wife has made it very clear to me that she wants nothing to do with me anymore. She had a birthday weekend and I was not included in any of the plans, she has been lieing about everything, she hurt my son and continues to do anything she can to hurt me. She comes home drunk late at night and disrupts the entire house. I have been advise by my support group (Family, Friends, Lawyer, W and Psych) that it is not good physically and mentally for me, her or the kids to continue in this mode. I would still stand for my M if there was any effort what so ever from my W. My W needs serious help and willnot get it.

AlmostHopeful, I have a Psych meeting tomorrow and he is going to advise me where to go for Family Counciling and we will start right away.

Thank you all for your concerns.

BND, please do not stop posting to my thread. BTW, I live in a town with less than 5000 people and it is 1 mile by 3 miles so no matter where I move in town it would be very close. I must be close to my kids and live in their school district.

[brandnewday]

I understand you feel the need to move on and get this over and done with.

I know that people say things in anger especially if they are in MLC.

My Husband told me on no uncertain terms that he wanted nothing more then to Divorce me and move on with his life. That he had been miserable with me for over 20 years, blah, blah, blah.

I honestly believed him, but refused to do anything to help him make the Divorce process go by faster or easier for him.

Your Wife has many issues going on in her life, some of which have nothing to do with you, some have everything to do with you.

This whole process is going to take time, and she is going to have to really get to a place, mentally before she is ready and willing to even face them.

You probably already know all of this, but rushing this Divorce full steam ahead, doesn't seem wise to me.