[Committed2Him]

Stbx still wants the benefits of me bending back & over to make his life easier with his "I dont' have a place to live, I have debt, you have to let xyz happen "... I used to do that, in my desperation to win back his love, to keep him happy with me (not that it ever worked). So I also have to learn the art to keep him in his place in a diplomatic way.

Try the Spicy Sauce approach?

You know, I think many of us are guilty of trying to win over our X's and in the process, we fail to put up appropriate boundaries. I know I did it and it cost me plenty, including significant financial loss. Fortunately, I go to bed knowing that I made every effort to "save" the marriage with the knowledge I had at the time. There are things I would have done differently BUT God will use the decisions I made to continue to shape and mold me into what He wants me to be. That is, none of my decisions caught God by surprise and He will use those decisions to work out all things together for my good. (Romans 8:28) To me, this verse is demonstrated through the lessons I learned, the glory I give Him, my clean conscience, the faith I have had that God is absolutely good (a faith others have witnessed).

Cat, it looks like you are learning to "keep him in his place." Everyone goes through this stage in their own way and at their own pace. The wonderful peeps here are a good sounding board and they will often give just the right kick in the pants when they see us being doormats. I offer my boot any time I think you might need it