Yes, this is a process, not an instant fix. I have to keep reminding myself that a lot of people on this forum have been working at peicing much longer than I have, and even though I would like things to improve faster, we have made a lot of progress in a short time. We are only a few months into trying to putting out relationship back together, and the goal is that it will be a stronger relationship than it was before.
Today we talked about how grateful we were to each other for not giving up on each other. It would have been so easy to give up, not face the problems and try to resolve them, not have to really take a close look at the weapons of destruction we have both used to hurt our R. It would have been so EASY to walk away.
I probably would have eventually gotten into another relationship--and repeated much of the same behavior. H probably would have said, "see, love stinks and relationships stink and I was a fool to try it". Maybe he would later convince himself to try again, as maybe he only needed a different kind of partner--only to repeat HIS same behavior.
Who knows what stupid mistakes we could have made, compounding mistake upon mistake. I'm so glad we have kept on trying and learning how to love each other better. We're now looking back at what we nearly lost and it is frightening.
Now it is disarmament time. No more nuclear weapons will be allowed in a relationship that is built on love, friendship and respect. Popguns, pillow fights, and water balloons will be allowed, but no more nukes and no more scorched earth tactics! The Indian Wars have ended.
