given that he is a lawyer, if you have future opportunities to email him where you could be challenged...feel free to click 'notify' if you want my help...i may not notice a note to me otherwise.
sg Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
Thanks SG!!! H already started in today. H wanted me to start going to a different church which I have done. My daughter and I came up with the idea of alternating going to his church and my church and he emailed me today he'll agree but doesn't like that I came up with the idea! I guess I am not supposed to come up with ideas with her or something. I'm just tired of someone that's mad at me 99% of the time!!!
I sent the email you suggested this am Sg! He just emailed me "sounds good" but I kind of doubt he will do an honest recording of all his expenses including OW and restaurants and everything??? Karen Karen
I am not sure if it was on your thread or your post on someone elses I think you posted a link to a page that gives a schedule of daily tasks to keep your house in order? Can you tell me what that website was? I stink at housekeeping :-)
Me~34 H~38 D6.5
EA/PA-DEC.07
Moved out~Apr.13,08 Sep. Papers~Dec.7,08 No contact order ~Dec.9,08 and again October 13, 2009
Angry people are horrible to deal with... im sorry for that.
why do you think he is angry all the time?? I would keep my distance from him if at all possible only deal with him when you have to... and act "as if".. nobody needs to be dealing with somone like that on a daily basis.. (((hugs)))
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
Angry people are horrible to deal with... im sorry for that.
why do you think he is angry all the time??
My guess is he's trying to get a rise out of you again, Karen. Trying to pick fights. If you're both mean and nasty towards one another, it makes it that much easier for him to go through with the D.
Don't get into it with him. You be the rational, mature adult. Let him act like the fool.
(((((Karen)))))
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
I think you are right (as usual) GF!!! Thanks for the hugs too! I had a bad day avoiding the fights he started Sat. but then I rallied and successfully avoided them yesterday and so far today. He emailed me something today about he finds it very ironic I want to stay in my small town "when I found it so horrible for the last 3 years".
I emailed back: Not at all!!! I was depressed & unhappy and I think would have been anywhere I lived (our small town), or (the town he lives in now), or even Hawaii (ok maybe not Hawaii!). I would look to you to get a new job or getting a new house somewhere else and think that would make me happy (and you had told me that wouldn't help me & you were right), but I really had to just make MYSELF happy and get rid of the depression. I don't have to get a house to make me happy or whatever, I'm just happy. I don't know if I explain it well...
I've told him that once or twice before but I guess it takes a while to sink in or maybe for him to believe it or understand me or something! He emailed back that he thought I did do a good job of explaining it.
Neecy, you have a great memory! I did post that on someone's thread; I use the Motivated Moms chore lists. Here's the link: http://www.motivatedmoms.com/order.html But I think you might want to try the free 2002 ebook (the link for that is on the bottom of the page) and it will give you an idea if that will work for you. It has improved my house so much I can actually people over without notice which I never could have done before!!! They also have an email list which you can sign up for on yahoo groups. They basically send out the same info as the ebook so each day you get one email with daily chores and another with your weekly/monthly/season chores that you also are supposed to try to do at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/MotivatedMom/cal If you miss a day for whatever reason, you are supposed to just do the next day's chore list or emails and not try to make up the previous day's chores, plus I have my kids do some of the chores so it doesn't take me that long.
I had a fun morning (actually it kind of was) with the plumbers when they came to fix our multiple leaks. They were really nice & friendly and giving me suggestions about stuff.
H talked to them and decided intead of just replacing the bathtub faucets to spend an extra $500 on replacing the whole tub (well it did kind of need it). But I am surprised b/c that is kind of a caring thing he did I think. I guess I kind of have low expectations for H now so when he does something nice I am kind of blown away!!! Karen
Okay, I think I did a good job DBing last night. H came over to see the kids. We were watching a TV show so I watched the last 10 minutes of it (he came over at almost 7:30) and then I went upstairs to workout and do some cleaning (and I read some also) while H was with the kids downstairs until 9.
We still need to resolve the issue of the kids' therapist. H didn't want them to see mine, but she has met with them once already and it went really well, and my shy non-talker S14 opened up and talked almost the whole time! I think H is scared she may testify about what the kids say about H if/when we divorce. But any good therapist will prob. have them talking about when he emotionally checked out the first part of his PA for several months, feelings they have about him moving out, etc.
What really upsets me is that he has never met or talked to the C, so he is just making an uninformed decision. I feel like I would just like him to talk to her once on the phone, and then if he felt the same way and didn't want her to see the kids I would agree and be supportive (well try to be anyway)! I think she is so sweet, smart, and friendly that he would have a hard time rejecting her, but if he still felt that way I guess I could agree more easily if he's at least talked to her! So I was going to email H today:
The kids' therapist (her name) has developed a good rapport with the kids and I think she did a great job of getting the kids to talk about their feelings. I would feel better if you didn't dismiss her without at least talking to her once. If you talked to her and still feel the same way, that we should try another therapist, then I would agree and be supportive. I think that seems like a fair compromise to this problem and hope you will agree.
Do you think this is ok to send (remember H is a lawyer) and if so, if I should make any changes? Sometimes I wish I was a lawyer so I'd be better at this stuff, but then I think, no way!
H already started in today. H wanted me to start going to a different church which I have done. My daughter and I came up with the idea of alternating going to his church and my church and he emailed me today he'll agree but doesn't like that I came up with the idea! I guess I am not supposed to come up with ideas with her or something. I'm just tired of someone that's mad at me 99% of the time!!!
Karen