I think she's back

[Starshyne]

I have lost my voice, so it is so nice to be able to communicate with you all. A lot has happened since Saturday, and I will try to fill you all in, but I am sure I won't include everything.

When H came home on Saturday, we had a really long talk about his affair and our marriage. According to him, this new woman is "just a friend" (heard that one before) and that he has only been out with her a few times to eat and that some of the times he was eating out with clients. He said the jewlery thing was a loan to this woman and she is going to pay him back. He regrets loaning her the money for the jewlery and now sees how dumb that was. He told me that he is willing to change his cell phone number and end all contact with this new "friend" in order to work on our marriage. He also told me that he still loves me and doesn't want a divorce. Yes, this sounds good...however there are still a lot of things that don't please me.

He isn't willing to be 100% transparent. I said that I want to look at his cell phone before his erases the number and his debit card information. He did not like this and said something about how I wouldn't know if he erased the numbers and he can just start using cash.

He did admit that he was not coming home as much because he was tried of my nagging. He again said that many of the times that I think he was with OW, he was alone and he has been spending a lot of time alone lately. I can see how he can feel that way, and said that I would no longer nag him and make home a better place to be.

He feels trapped and doesn't like me having a leash on him (by telling him that I am not comfortable with him staying out until 1am on a Friday night). I am not sure how to handle this. Any suggestions? He says that he wants to go out with me sometimes, but not all of the time. I am not used to this. We used to go everywhere together, and we were not bar goers like he seems to now be. I told him that while I am not comfortable with him going out, that if I knew what time he was going to be home and if his plans change, that would help. He agreed to do that.

He had already had plans to go out that night (Saturday) and while I wasn't happy about it at all, he went out. He stayed to his word and messaged me when his plans slightly changed and he was home a little eariler than he had said.

We agreed to move slowly in our relationship and Sunday we spent the day together. Nothing exciting because it was raining all day. Went to Walmart to do the things he was supposedly doing last week, had lunch together and then went home and messed around with the computer. We had dinner at Steak and Shake and H said several times "this is really nice."

I am not sure if H is serious about ending the affair/friendships he has. But he says that he is. Right now I am going to take his word and see what his actions say.

Meanwhile I am still GAL and all that. I have plans tonight for an Applebees (one of my favorites) dinner with my mom and a workout together. Nothing huge, but still something a little different than the norm.

I hope I made the right choices. Seeing my bags packed and that I was serious about leaving was a HUGE wake up for him, I could tell. He kept saying "I dont want you to leave...I want to be married to you." At least this is a change from previous conversations. I don't know.