You sound like you have a very eventful weekend as well. I kept busy too. I too am looking at this differently lately. I think I'm growing. Sure, sometimes we're down about the sitch, but before I wouldn't get back up where now I make sure I get back up!
Let God deal with H and OW and why they play this game. It hurts us LBS for sure, but they have to answer to a higher power later. Carma.
Enjoy the times you have the old H back and his nice company. Ignore the rest of the MLC stuff.
You sound like you're doing great still. Strawberry picking is on my list of GAL. I've always wanted to take D to do that and apple picking. Too bad we're not closer we could take the kids together!
Hey Dar...yes I love to go strawberry picking....I put away alot of jam for the year...it is sooo good.
But I think Im strawberried out now!
I kinda know why my H was short with me....someone told me that the OW didnt believe me about my H coming to me for sex when he was with her those times...I made the statement to them..."who cares if she believes me or not, all she would have to do is check his cell phone".
OK, evidently this got back to her. I need to just keep my mouth shut!! She asked to see his phone last night.
oh well...he needs to learn to live with the distrust.
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
My H tried calling us last night but I was at a meeting and didnt answer. Our answering machine was off at home so he couldnt get intouch with us. I didnt answer his calls, I was busy. He texted once, left a couple of messages. We didnt get home until 10 last night. I sent kids to bed and told them their dad called and said he loved them. I texted H and told him that I gave the kids his message. He said OK thanks.
This morning he called the kids and talked to them. Then he asked our son if I wanted to talk to him. I told my son that I didnt need to talk to him this morning. He told his dad. My son brought me the phone, said daddy wanted to talk to me. I took the phone and H said he just wanted to wish me a good morning. I said Morning back. He told me that he wasnt trying to be a jerk the other night....he must have read my mind....I told him ok. He asked if I was feeling ok. I said not really, I have been having stomach issues lately...stress probably. I didnt tell him that though. We talked briefly about the kids stuff. I told him that I had started a part time job and was at a meeting last nite. He was surprised. He offered to take our son anytime I had a meeting. He said he hoped I had a nice day. I just said thanks. We said good bye.
Well, I am on a new mission. I have a new parttime work from home job to earn some extra income and it has benefits and alot of other stuff. Im excited about it really.
Pray for me!!
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
Kissak, that's AWESOME! The job will be great for you too! You can go to meetings and socialize!! I love adult socialization. When I was at home, I only had one other stay home mom to talk to and she was much younger and had me babysit more than anything. Being back at work has it's advantages for sure!
Your H will see that you're not a freeloading family and that's all that's wanted from him. He'll see you're serious about all of it!
Thanks Grace...but it is amazing what will set me off lately!!
UGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My H is such a jerk!!!
DO you know what he did?????
He was supposed to be out of town all week. 3 1/2 hours away from here. Tonight is usually his night with the kids. But he spent a couple of hours with the kids on Sunday since he wouldnt see them tonight or again until Friday night.
Well, at 5:30 this evening I passed him here!! I called him to make sure everything was ok...I did not expect to see him. He said that class got out early today and he had some things he needed to take care of here, so since he had the time....uh? I said to him, so you could have gotten the kids tonight then? He said "I guess I could have". He is at her house. I told him that it was dumb of him to waste that much gas just to go back in the morning. He has to be back by 8am.
I am furious. I was so mad that I texted him and said "see what I mean? You came all the way back here to see her and not your kids. They saw you and now they are upset with you".
HE DID NOT REPLY!! UGH!!! My kids are upset, Im upset...I dont know what to do. I have however unplugged my phone for the night. If he got off early and came all the way down here to do "some work", he could have had the commen decensy to come at least get his kids for supper.
JERK!!!! I dont want him back. I dont like him, I cant stand him at this point. You know today I did what I do alot of the time...I type up a letter to the OW, I type with the intention to send...but I know deep down I never will..In my letter today, I read it many times....I think the light bulb finally went off! I kept reading the sentence "you will never trust him, let him be my problem, I made promises to him, not you"
WHAT?? I cant believe what I was saying. I dont want him to be my TRUST issue...LET HIM BE HERS! I cant do this. I dont want to. HE has so far to go to ever even be considered in my life again.
UGH!! Thanks for letting me vent!!
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
I don't think it's such a bad idea to write such a letter for yourself only. It's amazing how at different times we see different things that kind of smack us upside the head and make us really think.
I know the need to stand up for your kids when they're hurt/upset/disappointed. I've found in my case (my D's are 13 and 15) if theyre' willing to give voice to whatever they're feeling with me (D15 is not really) I encourage them to talk to H about it. D13 had the stones to tell him she thought he broke a big promise and lied to her. I only got what she told me (I haven't and won't ask him), but I told her how proud I was of her for taking on such an enormous topic with her Dad. Bottom line, she felt better.
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HE DID NOT REPLY!!
What could he have possibly said?
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I cant do this. I dont want to. HE has so far to go to ever even be considered in my life again.
You can if you choose. Look at how far you've come. You may choose not to, that power will always be within you. Let him be until he's willing and/or able to go that distance.
Thanks Grace...but really this has all been the last straw for me....I dont know that I have ever felt this way before. My Daughter sent her dad an email last night. She let he know that she was mad at him. She told him that she did not want to talk to him in the mornings or stay the weekend with him until he figured out what he did wrong. She told him that she did not like the OW and that a friend of hers told her that she saw her dad with a woman that wasnt her mom and that the lady was ugly...(I didnt tell her what to write, but that was funny) anyway, she let him know that he had hurt her,her bro and me...she told him that she didnt want him going with the OW...
OK, he replyed to that last night. He said something like this "Im sorry you are mad at daddy. Daddy had all intentions to come see you and brother, but when your mother saw me she called me and fussed me out and it upset me. I shouldnt have taken it out on you and your brother. I understand and you can talk to me anytime and you havent even given her a chance. I know with time your feelings will change.
UGH! He was trying to blame ME. ME! My daughter was in the car when I talked to him and she knows exactly what I said! I was furious that he tried to turn it on me...I wasnt ugly on the phone, the statement i made to him was "so, you could have gotten the kids tonight?" He said "I could have". It was alost 6pm and he had drove for 3 hours. He did not call me to make arrangements for getting them. He was upset because he was caught! It gave him no reason to not say "I was planning on it".
I cant believe him....my daughter replyed to his email this morning...it was short and too the point and there was no couching from me...she wrote...daddy i was with mama and she did not fuss you out and infact we have given her a bunch of chances I still do not want to stay with you this weekend.
She is smart, she said "mama, you didnt fuss him out". Even the text I sent him wasnt anything that should have upset him unless he was GUILTY of doing so....
And Grace, I did send him an email telling him how disappointed I was for our kids. I told him a few other choice words too. I shouldnt have, but I was angry. I wasnt worried anymore about watching my words to him. If he is going to come back, it doesnt matter what I say to him, so I am going to start telling him my feelings from now on. All of this has happened before and he chooses to come back....matter of fact, his email to our daughter, those words have come out of his mouth to her before.
My kids did not answer the phone this morning. He then called my cell phone and left a message. "please tell the kids good morning and I love them".
I told them his message.
Grace, I will let him be until he is willing or able to go the distance to get me back...I dont see it happening anytime soon. This has gone on with him going back and forth since Dec 06. At least once a month. I have been so strong and waited this long....there comes a point when enough is enough though.
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
