As hurt as you are right now, it's important for you to keep in mind, that in HER mind right now, SHE is the one hurting. I know that's hard, but she is thiking along the lines of "Can't he see how much I'm TRYING here?? First, he takes away my affair, and now he wants to control everything I do, and I"m making SO much effort here, and yet he seems to always want MORE from me... I just don't know if I can do this!!!"
Give grace. Thank her when you notice her efforts, and be specific. "Thank you, it really helps me when you compliment me. I just wanted you to know that I noticed that, and I appreciate it." Or simply just validate "I know this is hard for you. It's hard for me, too."
