Thank you Lin....I am doing just that. I didnt go back on my word either....
We were at the ball game tonight. I was there first. I had mail for him. I made sure I was on the phone when he came up. I walked up to him while I was talking on the phone and handed him his mail. I kept talking on the phone. That helped me with the awkardness. I sat down on the bleacher and he sat up a couple behind me. Well I didnt intend on holding a conversation with him. But he wanted to. He asked if I had gotten all my work done last night. I just said Yes. Then there were several other times he talked to me about some stuff. Nothing personal, but mostly kids stuff. Then he walks out to the parking lot to smoke a cig and has the nerve to send me a forward text message, it was something about God. I didnt even read all of it. Not that is was about God, but it was my H trying to "make me feel better".
I didnt even acknowledge it. When he left that was the only time I looked him in the eyes. He hugged the kids good bye. Reminded me that he wouldnt be there tomorrow. He asked our son to let him know how the game goes tomorrow. We then looked into each others eyes, he said "seems like there was something I was going to tell you, but I forgot". I just said ok, bye. He walked off.
It wasnt as bad as I thought it would be. I was polite, but only like I would be to a stranger.
I am so glad that I dont have to see or even speak to my H for the next 7 days. He will be out of town.
It will be a great pressure off of me. I dont have to see his truck at the OW's house everyday.
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
Wow Kissak you did really good at the game! I'm so tempted sometimes to keep talking to get my H to stay, or profess my love for him, yadda yadda yadda. But I don't anymore. If D had games like your kids do and I had to see H there, I hope I could be as strong as you just were!
Thanks Dar....it wasnt as hard as I thought it would be....I mean really I wasnt even tempted....Im just so angry at him still. Every now and then I hear something about him that turns me off even more.
I know I shouldnt talk to people about him and the OW....but I did. It didnt hurt either. Made me feel better actually. Found out the OW's son who is 15, doesnt like my H at all...matter of fact her son is spending the weekend with his mom's exbf that she keeps going back to everytime my H and her split. I know her family doesnt like my H either. Someone she works with said my H would call her so much a day that she was afraid of getting fired at work. I also know that the OW is having major finance problems. I hope she isnt counting on my H to help her out on that!
Their R really seems like a sick kinda love. An obsessive type really. Makes me smile sometimes to know that they are so messed up in the head!
Really each time he leaves and I find out more stuff he has said and done, it makes me see a little better that this is no man I want to be with. He is a sweet talker is all. He is immature and takes no time for his kids.
ANYWAY!! My son won his ball game today. He even was backcatcher for the first time!! They are so cute at this age.
Im keeping my neices tonight and I think I am going to take them and my kids to the movies!
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
Oh, Im not doing good dbing today. H met us at ball practice about 30 min late. I said hello when he did. He asked was I mad at him...I just gave him that look...then he said "well are you mad at me right now?" I just told him that everything about him p!sses me right now and I didnt want to talk to him! I think he got the point. He didnt say another word to me until they left. He asked if he could take the kids with him a couple of hours because he would be gone all week. I asked what time he would be back with them. He asked again if I was ok....I just said "call me when you are on your way bringing them home". I rolled up my window and drove off.
HOW DARE he ask me if Im ok!! He is such an idiot! OH, yes I am fine!! I am so happy that my H is sleeping with the woman down the street that I cant contain my excitement!!
UGH!
Then I came home and cried. I just want the emptiness to go away.
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
Hey Cagz...yes, it does leave way too many moments to see them.
He called tonight before he brought the kids home...said he was going to go to the fastfood place and get them supper and then bring them home...he asked if I wanted anything from there as well. I was like, no thanks??? He went on, "are you sure?" then he wanted to let me know that it was fixing to rain....ok....anyway, he brought them home....lingered for a few minutes....could hardly keep his eyes above my neck....ugh. I know this because the kids mentioned their sunburn...then he said "yeah, looks like mommy got some on her neck too....I didnt get any sun on my neck...not enough he could see anyway. Oh me....he's gone for a week....yeah, I think.
He called around 8:30 to tell the kids goodnite...he didnt say anything to me other than "can I please talk to the kids?"
Its like sometimes he follows what I ask, then at other times he doesnt.
Im sad...I did tell him to be careful when he left. He was going to have a long drive. Im not a cold person and I dont want him to think I dont care.
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
ok Some might not agree with me. But I had to do this for me. I hate being angry with my H. It is how I feel though. But I have to forgive him and to do that I dont feel I can be angry. I wanted to tell him this last night. I texted him and said that I would like to know when he gets to his destination. I did care and wanted to make sure he made it safely in the bad weather.
He just replyed ok and then when he got there he texted me to tell me he was "at the hotel".
I asked if he had a sec to text? He said Not tonight.
I just said ok I wanted to clear the air with things.
He replyed "you can talk but doesnt mean I will reply"
??? ok, what did I do? He was in a good mood earlier when I saw him.
He is a jerk! All I wanted to do was say, look, I dont agree with what you did or have done and I dont think we can be friends, but I dont want to be bitter, so lets just get along the friendlist we can...
Decided not to tell him now. He doesnt deserve me telling him anything.
And they say women are hard to understand.
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
MLCers are very confusing Kiss for sure! Sounds like he's up there with the rest of them too. I also think the MLCBS we (LBS's) have to deal with lead to more confusion in our heads and it really shouldn't. So is your H mad now because you're not all happy happy about the sitch you have or what? I don't get them, I really don't. I'm sorry you are going through this back and forth with his moods.
You didn't *do* anything to cause him to act the way he did. Don't turn his moods back onto yourself. Just as he can't stand it when you won't talk to him, you can't stand it when you think he thinks you are angry with him.
You are continuing the same old dance by trying to explain to him how you feel and wanting to clear the air between you. Don't for one second believe that he didn't get the biggest charge out of you contacting him. You did exactly what he expected you to eventually do.
I know this is difficult for you but you have got to drop that rope and leave it on the ground, girl.
Now. What did you do for fun this weekend?
*hugs* ~ swl
Look not mournfully into the past. It comes not back again. Wisely improve the present. It is thine. Go forth to meet the shadowy future, without fear. {Henry Wadsworth Longfellow}
Thanks Swl....I regretted even contacting him last night. I was weak. I dont want to be bitter. I just get so confused about things. I know I didnt DO anything to him. He is being a jerk though. I dont plan on contacting him anymore this week. No reason to. Even with the kids stuff, he cant do anything about it.
What did I do fun this weekend????well, I went to ball game for my son...i took my son to pick some strawberries...my Daughter didnt want to go. Picked about 10 pounds! They are so delicious! Better than any we get from out west the rest of the year...
I took my kids to the movies to see Nims island....my neices went to and they stayed with me on Saturday night. Had a nice dinner at church yesterday....I was bummed about it though because we were having my H's favorites....oh well, his loss.
SWL...how long is this all going to last?? Im ready to move on already. Stop hurting for a while. I mean, its better, but this time its different. My thoughts are different about it all. Im so angry at him and at her for what they keep doing...THIS IS NOT A GAME!!
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
