No R Talks??????

[sage]

That seems like a no win situation to me LL! I can feel pity for him that he has to deal with the realization that he forgot what was important to him AFTER he f***ed everything up. I don't feel sorry for him having to clean up the mess and grow the heck up.

If I don't (get me a barf bag) say, "oh poor baby", he just might go find someone else who will tell him what he want to hear. Do I have to compromise myself that much to save my R?

Tal -- a toughie to be sure. Easier said than done but can you recognize and validate his pain w/o condoning it? Sort of a compassionate view for how screwed up, how hurt he must have been feeling to come flying into the room and stomp all over everything that had been built (like a 3 year old). And now he's trying to rebuild it but whiny at the same time. I'm not trying to sound judgemental or self-righteous at him (at my h?) -- even though it's of his own creation, it must hurt him too? maybe even more to know that HE messed up?

I don't think you lose yourself by allowing him some pain too.

On really good days, I'm even successful at feeling compassion of ow.

Sage