Talking about you "spiritually dying if you suffered in your marriage any further", is new age mysticism mumbo jumbo.
I didn't make the statement that you put in quotations, Dom. I said if I'd have stayed in that place I allowed guilt to take me, I'd have died spiritually.
Ah, sorry that I misunderstood your context for "spiritually dying". Thank you for clearing up that misunderstanding.
Originally Posted By: AmyC
Quote:
I say divorce, because the way you wrote that you were "moving on", made it sound like you were totally giving up on your marriage, and proceeding in the direction of divorce. Again, if this is a false assumption on my part, please let make know, and I will apologise for the misunderstanding.
I do NOT feel released to actually file a complaint for divorce yet.
But I refuse to wear the shackles anymore.
So I did read you correctly on that one, at least.
Lots of interesting nuances to what you wrote there. "marriage == shackles", eh? WHAT IS IT WITH YOU? I NEVER said marriage was akin to being shackled nor have I ever felt that way. The shackles were the bondage to the guilt.
well.. yes. it can be like that sometimes. Marriage is a "bond". That bond can be either a comfortable, or uncomfortable one. When it's uncomfortable, it can feel like shackles, no argument there.
So... what are you using as your yardstick to determine when to "throw off your shackles" and file for divorce, then? When it 'feels right' to you? Or, when you have biblical justification for divorce? Dom, you are really pushing my limits and not in any good or productive way. I just told you I wasn't filing because I do not feel led to. What good would it do me to go ahead and MAKE A PLAN to file if x, y or z happens? That wouldn't be letting God lead me now would it? As I go through the rest of your post, if I see one more thing that even resembles you jumping to conclusions and not paying attention to what I say, I am going to ask you to refrain from posting on my thread as you are not helping me. You are wasting my time. You're not even playing devil's advocate. You're just chapping my ass because you are expressing hardnosed opinions and you admittedly DON'T KNOW THE HISTORY OF MY SITCH.
Is your higher level goal "not having to try so hard", at least for a time of rest for yourself. And divorce is the only way you can foresee having "rest" for yourself?
In theory, that's what the original intent of separation was: a cooling off period. Nowadays, most people use it as an excuse and license to go screw other people, rather than "a time apart to regain calm and reflect on the marriage". But... I think that's what it's *supposed* to be for, personally. Again further proof you don't know my sitch because the cooling off period ended long ago for my husband and myself.
In a separation, you can be completely dark, except for things that you have to deal with together. Those things that you "have to deal with" together, still have to be dealt with even after divorce, for the most part. So divorce wont solve anything there.
What are you looking for? A new man? ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? That's it. Get the hell off of my thread, Dom. Or rest?
