Thanks, LL. It helps to know that what I'm feeling is common. Is that thread in this forum?
I'm just feeling frustrated. H keeps wanting "appreciation" for the C work he is doing and how hard that is for him to open up and really spill his guts to a stranger. Most of the time, it sounds like what he wants is my pity.
Now I'm thinking...not only was he acting like a kid that trashed his room and then said "this room sucks", I want to move...now that he's thinks he's been unrealistic and a bit immature..now he's whining that he has to grow up a little and get to work cleaning his room.
Now he's throwing a pity party for himself and I'm supposed to say, "oh poor baby, I'm sorry you have to grow up a bit!". Despite a lot of the good stuff (I know he doesn't REALLY want to lose me) I still see him basing so many of his actions on HIS feelings, HIS comfort level.
Where is the US in that?
Oh and by the way, wasn't I the one who was betrayed???
All the while he was trashing the room, I didn't go out an betray him even though I was not being treated very well. I stayed committed and kept trying to get him to talk to me and work on some of our R problems. I did feel sorry for him at the time because I knew he was depressed--but now I don't because I know what he was doing to deceive me.
The problem is, I know OW would attend his pity party. She or someone like her would be willing to bake a cake and put on little party hats. Barf!
That seems like a no win situation to me LL! I can feel pity for him that he has to deal with the realization that he forgot what was important to him AFTER he f***ed everything up. I don't feel sorry for him having to clean up the mess and grow the heck up.
If I don't (get me a barf bag) say, "oh poor baby", he just might go find someone else who will tell him what he want to hear. Do I have to compromise myself that much to save my R?
