Does anyone ever wonder sometimes if they even want to save their M or if it is worth the work?
I visited with my sister last night for a few hours. She and her H divorced a year ago. She's now in a relationship with a guy she's been friends with for a few years. She and her kids moved in with the guy about 3 months ago.
She described how great it was being with someone who didn't act like a child (as her XH did) and how great it was to have a real partner that shared the workload and the parenting and took care of her in so many ways.
I'm happy for her and for her kids. He really is a great guy. It made me have a little pity party for myself, though. I remember what it was like to be so glad that I'd finally found a MAN, not an overgrown child.
I never thought H would change so much--to become so selfish and self-centered. In the last 2 years before the bomb, I found that I was having to do ALL the work around the house, with the kids, be the one responsible for the finances (while H spent on himself as I struggled with the bills). I never thought I would end up being overworked, overwhelmed and lonley. H was just like a phantom in our lives--slept days, worked nights, barely interacted with us when he was here. I sure as hell never thought he'd cheat on me.
I really thought I knew the man. Now I can't even remember what it's like to feel a little bit taken care of or even that I have a partner in life.
Suposably, we are working on not just rebuilding our R, but negotiating a new one. I've had some indications that H is willing to do better--but so far I'm still carrying all of the load and even if we do reconcile, it will take a long time to dig out of the financial hole H's irresponsibility and this separation has caused.
