I guess I have been lumping it in with a whole pattern of behaviour where H makes plans, doesn't consult me, gets inflexible about it all when I try to point out that I'm the other half of "we" and would like to have some input on decisions that affect me.
I don't have much patience, I know
I came from a rather difficult background of poverty, alcoholism, racism, poor educational opportunities. Physical and sexual abuse of children, domestic violence, and even suicide were considered so commonplace that people got so weary they could hardly lift an eyebrow over it all
Most of the friends I grew up with didn't make it past our early 20's. Somehow, I not only survived, but got 2 degrees and worked my hiney off to get to the point of some financial security and owning my own house.
I have always gotten out of rotten situations, and made a better life for myself and my kids through determination and sheer force of my will and hard work.
Since that has always been my manner of survival, it's no wonder that H finds me controlling. My MO has been to be overly vigillant and work my butt off to overcome problems.
H lands on the other end of the spectrum with doing things very slowly (the fine art of procrastination). I tend to percieve his way of doing things as very passive agressive.
You're right though, and I need to just let this go and let him do this in his own time. I actually have suggested that he keep the other place for awhile after moving back--kind of a time-out room if either of us need that.
