I refuse to use the term "affair" when we talk between us. The word implies some romantic thing and places the emphasis on THIER R. What H did was betrayal, infidelity, dishonesty, and cheating and there nothing romantic about that.
I really like that you made this distinction. Makes a lot of sense to me, I believe I will cut the word "affair" out of my references to my H's infidelty from now on. Words have power even when we are not consciously aware of it.
Since I was a young child, I've had visions and dreams that are uncanny in the way that they unfold into this reality almost seamlessly. I nearly died when I was a little girl because I couldn't eat or rest due to the affect they had on me then.
I still have them but not as often or as intensely as before. My daughter is gifted with the sight, she helped locate a missing child with her ability when she was 10 years old.
Anyway, (I digressed, sorry) I think it's good that you allow yourself to express openly and honestly those strong, bitter and explosive feelings and thoughts that most of us grapple with. We all have our own way of healing and for some of us, having a good rantfest is part of the process.
You are also quite straight forward in your approach to the positive things happening in your situation as well. You don't dress them all up, you just take them out into the sun where you can get a good look at them. I like that.
"And I said that everyone was entitled to their private thoughts and private time, but I need to know that he was absolutely clear that he wasn't entitled to have big hidden, secretive parts of his life where he could betray me and lie to me about."
Positives with parameters. I need to start practicing this myself.
