I googled the brain chemical info. I understand more now the need for not only me not talking to the OM, but the OM not talking to me either. I am addicted and I need to stop it altogether. I don't want to lose this chance at keeping my marriage. I reassured H that I have not contacted OM today because I could see it on his face. I have been on this forum a lot of the day, and he probably wondered if I tried messaging the OM on the computer. He asked a couple more questions about OM. I think this is how it will go...he will ask a little at a time. I answered and was completely honest. He said "why dont you just throw the phone away" I said you are right...I feel I can now because I feel like the OM won't come to the house ever now. I could tell he was more worried that I would say I loved the OM. He expressed his concern about whether the OM will try to contact me. I told him I dont think he will and if he does I will let him know immediately and I will get a restraining order if I have to. The last time I talked to OM he didn't realize it was over for sure because we had "broken up" so many times before. Now he knows. So, the phone will be gone and we can start picking up the pieces. I told H again that I will never do this again and I plan on reassuring him this over and over again. I will never do this again.

CBK- I remember saying what she said but just wanting my H to do something to stop me...to sit down with me and figure it out...to take steps to get a counselor for us knowing we BOTH have to fix things, write me a letter saying what he was going to do to make our life different than before...convince me....because the OM was convincing me to leave and was doing a good job of making me feel that was the way to go, making me feel everything that H never was able to do......


I will get "AFter the Affair" tomorrow. Thank you, Sara.