And about the sexual stuff...you HAVE read my thread, right?
CJ's sexual desire problems started early in our M. I think it was partially due to testosterone drop after the "honeymoon" phase was over and partially due to the controlling/angry dynamic that I perpetuated. Pretty hard for SOME men to feel attracted to someone who is tearing them down. If only I KNEW it at the time!!!
The "functional" problems started to get worse about 4 years ago. I didn't help matters by taking it personally at first. As if his "inability" were a direct rejection of me. This just made him MORE anxious and less turned on!
About two years ago I guess I had finally made enough of a fuss and went to our MD with him for the little blue pill. It DOES work...and I thought CJ would be elated that it was a physical problem after all.
Alas, that was around the time he started on the chatlines and we just drifted further and further apart. Then he found the OW....
Last week was the first time since all of this mess that H took the pill for me. I didn't even know he still had some. (I have to wonder why he didn't do this before?).
It was just so nice for BOTH of us not to have to worry about THAT aspect, I think you KNOW what I mean!
I'm very glad your H responded well too. It must do a real number on a guy to feel like "less of a man".
Also it helped me to know that although the "freshness" of things with OW helped some, CJ revealed that "things weren't all that great there, either" .
Don't worry about being "unconventional". I've done a few things that made other DBer's cringe! Like asking H to list all of my positive qualities very early on when he was still planning to leave!
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