Mike, how did your golf game go today? How is everything on your end?
77 today in a Torrential rain storm. Everything is the same here. I am still calm and relaxed. I feel good, don't know why or how. I had a good time today. It was rain gear all day..
Mike, how did your golf game go today? How is everything on your end?
77 today in a Torrential rain storm. Everything is the same here. I am still calm and relaxed. I feel good, don't know why or how. I had a good time today. It was rain gear all day..
Great round and even better being relaxed. Keep it up, you are doing great.
Update-not on the computer much last night. Worked out yesterday after work. Started a new workout, sore today. After getting home I walked downstairs with my shirt off, W noticed my 4 pack abs which should be a 6 pack in a bit. She said "you should be proud" I am proud but i wish she was proud. I don't think she is and I don't know if DB'ing is going to work in my sitch.
Gave D2 a batch last night, played a bit then made chocolate covered banana pops covered in sprinkles and peanuts. They are in the freezer now. D will have a treat after daycare today. Into work late today D2 up all night, then I had to drop D at daycare. W had a meeting...it's a legit meeting (GL) I checked.
Our sitch, being in the same house, we have a normal routine. She cooks for me, I cook for her, we do things for each other. There is no intimacy. I don't see any changes in her what so ever. I think she wants this D to go through and there is nothing that I can do to stop it.
I noticed my D2 went over to the wedding picture of the W and I and pointed to me and said daddy, then pointed to W and said mommy..my W had a really sad look on her face when that happened.
Called my W this morning on my way in to see if she had gotten someone to watch D during our MC appointment on Thurasday at 6:00..she said "had not thought about it, do you want me there?" I said come if you want, it's up to you.
We are in so much the same situation. Separated but cohabitating.
I an DBing like crazy and following the telephone coaches advice. The baby steps continue but there is no real tangible progress. The biggest thing for me was to realize that this is not really about me. It is about her. I can set the stage for a reconciliation, present myself as a better and better option and then get ready for my new life. I cannot change her mind, speed it up or make her do anything that she doesn't want to do. If you can force yourself to step back and just let her be then you will feel better, she will have more space and you can focus on GAL. I still have weak moments but they are getting fewer and farther between.
WE HAVE TO MAKE THE TRANSITION TO LET THEM GO EVENTUALLY. I think that the key is to do it ASAP. That will maximize your chances of success.
The crap gets old, I only have about two bad days out of ten now, of course I have been living the way you describe for about a year and couple months. Funny thing is you will reach a point in which, you will think whatever you want is fine by me. I could enjoy my life with you or without you.
I think once you reach that point then you completely realize you will be okay. The only thing that makes me sad anymore is thinking about our S. and how it is going to hurt him. Short of that I really don't give a crud. Because this looney isn't the person I love anyway. She is a shell of who my W. used to be.
Married:10 years D final 8/28/08 10 minutes is all it took Life goes on and DB was no small part in growing from the Divorce!
The crap gets old, I only have about two bad days out of ten now, of course I have been living the way you describe for about a year and couple months. Funny thing is you will reach a point in which, you will think whatever you want is fine by me. I could enjoy my life with you or without you.
I think once you reach that point then you completely realize you will be okay. The only thing that makes me sad anymore is thinking about our S. and how it is going to hurt him. Short of that I really don't give a crud. Because this looney isn't the person I love anyway. She is a shell of who my W. used to be.
GF- I am actually there at that point. I know I will be OK. I get sad thinking about my D2. I wanted to be a full time parent this time around but looks like my W wants to take that from me. Makes me that much more determined to be the best part time dad I can be for my D..As for the W, it's going to hit her like a ton of bricks one day, she will wake up, we will be D'd and she will think, "What a major mistake I made"..
I think that also, it will take the D and our Son being upset before she figures it out. Because of this I have been contemplating leaving on weekends to take our S. to my folks or alternating with spending time with my grandparents.
The one problem is how to I balance it with the work load around the house, she is always sick or complaining about some health issue and does less than ever. So if I bail on weekends it just means more to do when I get back. I just don't know.
Married:10 years D final 8/28/08 10 minutes is all it took Life goes on and DB was no small part in growing from the Divorce!
I think that also, it will take the D and our Son being upset before she figures it out. Because of this I have been contemplating leaving on weekends to take our S. to my folks or alternating with spending time with my grandparents.
The one problem is how to I balance it with the work load around the house, she is always sick or complaining about some health issue and does less than ever. So if I bail on weekends it just means more to do when I get back. I just don't know.
GF-1 1/2 years?? Do you have any hope or are you just over it?? I can't even look that far ahead right now. I can't imagine and im probably better off if I don't.
I have hope, but the hope lies in S. will be okay, Dad will be okay and I have done everything I could to rebuild the M. There isn't anything I haven't tried.
In regards, to her, I believe she will see the light some day, and I hope it doesn't damage her further. Knowing the person she is and the amount of guilt she already feels I worry it can consume her. She is so prideful and doesn't ever ask for help.
I picture it as keeping a little space open for her, and she can enter with actions, not words. But I have let go for the most part, and I feel pretty good most days, even when she is miserable I just roll and handle the work, the house work, and our S. Meanwhile some days are a real struggle for her.
What is comical about it, is she filed not me and she has more bad days then I do. What is also laughable is I offer her opportunities to visit the folks and go out with friends and I just go about my business. Meanwhile she tells me she feels trapped. She is trapped, but it is not me who is trapping her, until she figures it out on her own there is nothing more I can do.
Married:10 years D final 8/28/08 10 minutes is all it took Life goes on and DB was no small part in growing from the Divorce!
