Yes, it was romantic and that's new stuff (for both of us).
I was trying not to let this marraige status thing become such a big deal in my head. Technically, legally, we are in a status that is like common law marraige, as well as being Indian custom married.
It has always been a sore point with me that H said he wanted to get married 9 years ago. When that didn't happen, I made a little fuss about three years ago and H gave me a ring and proposed at Christmas in front of our kids. Again...nothing happened...no follow through.
If the kids or I ever brought up the subject...H would come up with excuses and justifications:
"...it's just a peice of paper..." "...such and such a couple has been together for 25 years and never got married..." "...what does legality have to do with human nature and the heart..."
Well it has a lot to do with human nature and the heart when your woman cooks and cleans and brings home the bacon and raises a family with you and puts up with your MLC bullpucky and you make her feel like she's not good enough to marry and you still have one foot out the door because you're waiting for a bigger, better deal to come along....AND then you have an A with someone you work with.
Not to mention that we're getting older and if one of us dies, our federal stuff (military survivor's benefits, social security, etc. will go to our X-spouses, not each other. NOT ACCEPTABLE!
So now, in MC, I think he's starting to get that that it was a huge deal to me and that I've felt very hurt and upset about the whole issue for a long time so it has become a big topic of discussion in our reconcilliation.
To me, it is not only long-time-coming, but would be a sincere symbol that H is fully recommitting to the relationship.
I thought it might be a perfect opportunity for H to take care of that issue, being it was our annaversary. I wasn't setting myself up for any huge dissappointments by expecting...but I did hope.
Anyway, yes...the roses and card were very romantic.
