I am so glad that things are going well with Tyson. Happy puppy bathing!
Quote:
How is it that the WAS seems to move on to a whole new happy life (marriage)immediatly while the LBS is left to rebuild their life and finding love and happiness takes alot longer?
The X was from Germany. He had a very dysfunctional family and ended up moving in with a GF when he was 16 (age not that big a deal in Europe). Anyway - he lived with her for 10 years. He refused to marry her - she cheated on him and they broke up.
Then he met me - I very conveniently lived in the US. I thought he left his country for me. It took me awhile to realize - he ran away from Germany and all memories of that R. It had nothing to do with me. He needed to amputate it all and start over again with a clean slate.
We lasted 5 years. And when the going go tough - true to his pattern he left again. He needed a clean slate to start all over again.
And now he has yet another life with what I call wife #3 (10 years of living together counts as a W in my book). He did take 1/2 the stuff b/c he is extremely materialistic and loves stuff - not for any memories. He has started all over again.
It is possible that when things get messy or complicated - X needs to amputate his past and start all over again. And he feels happy when he leaves b/c he it is a new beginning - no R clutter. The problem is that this R will also get messy with time. I find people repeat patterns 90% of the time. I am willing to bet X will react to OW in the exact same way he reacted in your M when he started to feel "unhappy."
People that work through the tough times are happier in the long run. They take responsibility for their happinesss - instead of blame the lack of it on external circumstances. You strike me as one of those strong people - the ones that are lucky enough to find real love and you will again someday. You are the lucky one b/c you have far more capacity for happiness than X. X is a silly weak man that is off searching for a happiness holy grail that he will never find.
Anyway - all that stuff is head stuff. The heart takes awhile to heal. Take care of youself and be good to yourself. I am so sorry that X turned out to be such a colossal idiot.
