It is quite possible that the anti-X list is being replaced with a hormone driven list!
I guess that's okay for now. Hormones are a filter after all - why deny their existence or their role. I will not post the hormone list b/c well that is the type of list you discuss with GF's after a bottle or two of wine - not appropriate for the BB.
On a more grown up note, in my pre-M days, I use to like very smart men with a rebel streak. The X had a ponytail, earring and use to dress head to toe in black when we met. He was also one of the smartest men I have ever met. He was a German engineer. And he also fit the superficial attributes that I like in men.
These days, I still like the intellect. And I NEED grounded. Yes, this is perhaps a reaction to the X...so it is an anti-x attribute. I was always the grounded one in my M. I want a man that emits an aura that feels like a soothing balm on my soul - sounds corny - but don't know how else to express it.
Every man that has intrigued me since my D (excepted erased man) has a calming effect on me. And I really like that feeling - especially when I am feeling off balance and out of sorts.
My good male girlfriends also emit this aura. That is not to say that we don't disagree or have differences of opinions - sometimes with my friends we have very heated discussions. But even during the most contentious discussions - it never feels personal. No one ever puts the friendship on the line. And when one of my us does lose it at times - and perhaps the tone is not the best it could be - it is still okay. There is no score keeping or feeling that there is something wrong with the other person. I feel like I can be human and even disappoint at times w/o any danger of losing these friendships. And I feel like my friends are comfortable being themselves around me.
The two main male girlfriend friendships are Emailing Man and Patent Male Girlfriend. I suppose the interactions I have with these two men represent what I want in a non-platonic R as well.
These friends are post D. They are different from my pre-D friends. Perhaps as I relax, and retain the faith that any non-platonic R will share the these same charateristics.
Well - we shall see... I am at least leaving my house more. LOL! And I have two seminars scheduled. Might have to try some of the other TJ's in my area!
Life is good. It is and always be a journey - just need to remember that...
