well guys, I blew it again. h brought d5 home at 4:30, he wasn't supposed to bring her back until 7pm. He just walks in the house like nothing and proceeds (again) to do his laundry and clean (the house was already clean!!). I can't stand the arrogance this man has! I blew up. I told him he can't just come and go as he pleases and treat this house as his home as HE CHOSE TO LEAVE!! He said as long as he's paying the mortgage he can do whatever he wants.
I just blew it. I threatened, said stupid things and totally lost my cool. I then got in my car and went to a friend's house to cool off. HE'S STILL HERE!!! Why does he do this??? If he's so "happy" with his new life wouldn't you think he would be anxious to get back to it?? wtf?? It's so uncomfortable when he's here. I understand that he wants to give d a bath and I appreciate this, but it's excrutiating enough going through this (I cried all day alone) and just seeing him makes it worse.
I really need help in terms of db'ing. I keep thinking of what nikb said that every time I backslide it erases 100 db actions I've done. I know that it true. Why can't I get a hold of myself. It's just that I'm hurting on a level I have never known and I HATE
