Hi Shineybear. Thanks for your input. I'd like to hear more after you get some sleep and I'll be sure to stop by your thread (right now I have to drop off S16 at sports camp, go to work, then MC session and dinner this evening).
Yeah--so much stuff. I get exhausted with it all, but that's family life and I wouldn't trade it for being single and childless.
I don't know if you caught what I said about our oldest S(24) having problems in his relationship. H and I have always talked about feeling inadequate as parents because we didn't have much in the way of good role models from our parents. Sometimes, when befuddled, we just do the opposite of what our parents would have done and that parenting style has done wonders.
When H and I first agreed to try to reconcile, I told him that the boys are still VERY angry with him and he would have to work on healing with them later. I also told him that the boys are watching us very closely now. How we handle this situation will give them skills for how to deal with their relationships as adults when they or their partner really F up.
I didn't expect to see it come around so quickly. I think it's very cool how S24 handled his situation. He knew something was wrong, but his gfriend wouldn't talk about it. He installed some software on their computer, then confronted gfriend in a calm way. He told her that he wanted to work on their problems, owned up to his part of things, then gave her the choice to leave or stay to try to work on thier R. Gfriend waffled a bit, but chose to stay, as S24 was being very sincere. Now, S24 tells me that he neglected gfriend emotionally and made her feel very insecure because he wasn't making any real commitments to her. I'm so proud of him!
I think that before all this happened with H and I, S24 would have just gotten bitter and kicked gfriend out without even trying to reconcile.
