AmyC

[Dom R]

With all due respect Dom, you really ought to spend some time reading my old threads before you quote scripture to me and suggest I haven't "done" enough yet.

Amy.. i know a little about your situation. I will confess that I do not intend to go back and read all of it in full; I am responding to what you write, here and now. Most specifically, what you write as your current intentions, here and now.

I am proceeding with the assumption that you wish your actions, to be in line with what God has written to us as his will for Christians in the bible.

If that is NOT of interest to you, then please just say you dont care what the bible says, and I wont trouble you with it further.

Presuming that you do care, however...

In addition to the things I have done, changes I have made and pride I have swallowed, you might also pay attention to the story of my marriage that preceded my MLC. Particularly his dysfunctional behaviors, which he is still firmly rooted in and shows no intention of wanting to change.

I understand that. I understand that you had a lousy marriage before your MLC. The lack of support from your H, most likely made your MLC be a deep nasty one, instead of what might have been a less troubling one.

That being the case... do his behaviours give you biblical grounds for divorce?

I say divorce, because the way you wrote that you were "moving on", made it sound like you were totally giving up on your marriage, and proceeding in the direction of divorce.
Again, if this is a false assumption on my part, please let make know, and I will apologise for the misunderstanding.

Dom, I walked this walk faithfully by the Word of God for a very long time and aside from the friendship that was restored, nothing else happened. Guilt soon overwhelmed me to such an extent that I was finding it unable to live with. While in that mindset, I allowed some things to be done to me that were very bad, very painful and very deviant - because I thought deep in my heart that I deserved it. Don't you dare suggest to me I have not paid. I have paid. I have paid by watching my children suffer, my extended family members be unsure of how to refer to my husband and me now, living with my own vivid sense of loss and watching my husband suffer in prideful obstinance instead of letting me help him; ...

You have suffered. You have suffered a lot, because of choices that you have made.
I am not saying otherwise.

Biblically speaking, though, there is a difference between "suffering as a result of our sin", and "making atonement for it".

What you have described just there, sounds like the former.

I am NOT saying you have made no atonement.

I am saying, that "I have suffered greatly", is not the same thing as "I have repaid the debt".

Example:
let's say someone embezzled some peoples retirement fund, and ran off somewhere with the money.
They then suffer for the next 10 years, from anxiety that they will be caught, cant sleep well, and generally have a miserable existance.
The common commentary might be that they have "paid the price" for their actions. But have they done anything to make it up to the people they stole from?

Amy, i am NOT SAYING that you have done nothing to make up for things.

I am asking you the question: do you think that, by biblical standards, you have done enough to make up for your past actions?
You may have "suffered enough" by societal standards to bail for the exit. But does that cover what the bible has to say about it?
The bible is fairly clear on what Christians (and Jews, even) should do to make up for stealing. It isnt actually very well known. But it is there.

Zaccheus was "saved, by the grace of God", from his past sins.
Jesus even personally invited him to be with Him.
But did Jesus ever say to him, "well, now you're SAVED! So, you dont have to pay back the people you stole from" ?



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Even if you had NOT done what you did... again, does your husband's behaviour give you biblical grounds to divorce him?

I have yet to see where "God really wants me to do what makes ME happy!", is written in the bible.


Talking about you "spiritually dying if you suffered in your marriage any further", is new age mysticism mumbo jumbo.
It's not in the bible, Amy. its actually rather ANTI-biblical.

Should I pay with my soul?

That's quite a leading statement. and again, very "modern/new age".
Let me ask you another question:
according to the bible, do you "lose your soul", by being unhappy and suffering?

Or do you SAVE your soul, by sometimes suffering as a result of following Christian principles?

It's tough. Lord knows, it's tough sometimes.


I again apologise, if you are merely describing your intent to just "not try so hard".
Sounded like you were more headed towards the road to divorce, though.