This week is/would be our "annaversary" that we have always celebrated as when we got together.
I don't know what to do. It doesn't seem to be right to celebrate..as we are now separated but "piecing". The whole issue makes me really sad and feel like I'm still being kept in limbo. H says he's coming home "soon", but never gets more specific than that and feels pressured if I ask what he's basing his decisions on or when he'll decide and let me know.
I never thought we'd be in this situation. I tried to ask what he felt about this annaversay, and he said he didn't know as the last few years, it had seemed like something I didn't care about anymore. He said last year, I had forgotten about our annaversay.
I wanted to say "HEY--THAT'S NOT FAIR...I didn't forget! A month or two before, he had mentioned that we had an annaversary coming up and I had said, "Oh yeah, we do!" That doesn't mean I forgot!!!
I bit my tounge and calmly said, "I cared alot. I'm sorry you didn't know that."
I don't know what the heck to do now. H is still in MLC and often negatively interprets what I say and do. If I get a mushy card or write a love letter he might interpret that as me "pressuring him". If I underplay the annaversary, he'll probably get mad and interpret it as more evidence that I don't care enough.
This feels like a NO WIN situation and I'm struggling with my own sadness at how the heck to even celebrate an anaversary of being together when we are NOT together.
