Alison. You are a strong person, look at your achievments, they are great.
You are a great mum, homemaker, hold 2 jobs, have 3 wonderful kids,good friend, and you get through despite having just about every piece of rubbish thrown your way.
It's good to blurt out your negative feelings, but once you have it's time to store them and work on the positive.
I am aware that you want to stay away from AD's, I know you are wised up on their usage etc, I wouldn't want to sway you away, how about visiting your friends or parents or both, can you take some holiday now it's April, or even take some sick leave. do something constructive to try and help you work this negative energy off, decorate sons room, with him staying away it would be an opportunity and give him a new pad to return too, of course he would need to choose the colours.
Just try some distraction to give you a boost, think on the positive, occupational health have access to counselling services, I have accessed them in the past through this route, free and available, someone to talk to and express your worries with. We are all a little biased on this board maybe you need some positive input from a total outsider.
I know you are not in favour of taking night sedation, so here is a recipe to a good nights sleep I discovered years ago, Radox and piriton, not in a glass :), bath in the radox, swollow the piriton, works well for me, a good nights sleep will do you good.
