Ping, It sounds like you are making great progress and taking the steps slowly. I have zero patience, but it sounds like you are DBing so well. I am working on the first two steps still, reducing the negative emotions and good energy in the house. It sounds like you are on step three - friendship. I hope so, success stories is what we all need to hear.
Peace,
Hi CBK, I assure you one of my weaknesses is PATIENCE. For the first 4.5 months of this I was not patient whatsoever. Then I realized that the only way that I will have any chance of helping myself and having any success at saving my M I had better learn to be patient. Believe me, it is not in my blood but I am learning this trait.
The best I can tell you is to follow the principals of DR, and that means being patient. I have looked at many sitch on this board and many of the success stories, they all say the same thing, if you want success, learn to let go and act as if. Only at this time will our WAS not feel the pressure that we put on them and it will give them time to really think about what is going on.
I have been at this approach for 2 weeks now, I can say that my W seems much friendlier and I even had an invite from her and the kids last weekend to go ride gokarts and play putt putt. This would not have happened a month ago. I am seeing baby steps and logging those in my mind. The way that I am dealing with this is I keep telling myself that all will be OK in the end. I am making the necessary changes to be a better person for myself which is what my W wanted. Soon she should see this.
