Another hard morning. The meds I am on for depression really don't seem to be working.
The urge to call is strong again today. Have to get out of here. I try not to spend time at home. Keep busy with my friends when I can but I don't think I have laughed in 7 months. It's tough too because firefighters are some of the best humored people you will meet.
Been dating but she is not the "one". I have been honest with her about my feelings but she still likes to go out.
Joined an online dating site about 5 months ago. Been out with 3 but the chemistry just isn't there.
Just trying to hang on right now. I do not believe no contact is going to work. Swallowing that reality pill. Seems to have been caught in my throat.
