A Naej is right PLEASE go and see a doctor, get help, whether therapy or pills or both. When you are down you dont feel that anything will help, but they do, they really do.
I used to be very anti both, and I have had ADs and therapy, and they really work. We are on about the same timeline, so I DO understand how burnt out you feel.
They are right. C really helped me too. It made me see that it wasnt me but my h and helped me to deal with everything. I really, really do understand the burn out.
I hope you have a friend to talk to. I have noticed that when I turn to friends, it helps me to let go again and start to find my way out of the darkness again.
I am so very very sorry that you are struggling.
Your friend xxx
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
Alison. You are a strong person, look at your achievments, they are great.
You are a great mum, homemaker, hold 2 jobs, have 3 wonderful kids,good friend, and you get through despite having just about every piece of rubbish thrown your way.
It's good to blurt out your negative feelings, but once you have it's time to store them and work on the positive.
I am aware that you want to stay away from AD's, I know you are wised up on their usage etc, I wouldn't want to sway you away, how about visiting your friends or parents or both, can you take some holiday now it's April, or even take some sick leave. do something constructive to try and help you work this negative energy off, decorate sons room, with him staying away it would be an opportunity and give him a new pad to return too, of course he would need to choose the colours.
Just try some distraction to give you a boost, think on the positive, occupational health have access to counselling services, I have accessed them in the past through this route, free and available, someone to talk to and express your worries with. We are all a little biased on this board maybe you need some positive input from a total outsider.
I know you are not in favour of taking night sedation, so here is a recipe to a good nights sleep I discovered years ago, Radox and piriton, not in a glass :), bath in the radox, swollow the piriton, works well for me, a good nights sleep will do you good.
Ive done all the counselling I can stomach. I'm literally sick of talking about this, hence my decision to leave. All this talking has changed nothing. If anything the pain is greater now than it was in the beginning.
It's a fait accomplis - either I D H or he will D me. There is no other outcome. There no longer is anything to talk about
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
No, your right ACJ. Talking and counselling changes nothing-----without listening and changing. Acceptance goes a long way to healing and easing the pain. I wish you well.Actions not words may be your best tools now.
Ive done all the counselling I can stomach. I'm literally sick of talking about this, hence my decision to leave. All this talking has changed nothing. If anything the pain is greater now than it was in the beginning.
It's a fait accomplis - either I D H or he will D me. There is no other outcome. There no longer is anything to talk about
Allison, if it really is a fait accompis, then think of this as your new start in life ! It means you have a clean canvas ! You get to decide what you want from now on, and when you see that all this horrid MLC stuff is just a PART of your life and not your ENTIRE BEING, then,...that's when the clouds will start moving away to let the sun shine down on you !
Allison, life is a gift from God ! Take it and embrace it, for it is over before you know it ! Life is ups and downs, tears and joy, life is full of opposites so that we learn, grow and prosper !
I wish you the very best !
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
sweets)))))))))))))))) hon, we all know how you are hurting, and that's why we are able to tell you that DB was to save yourself first, someone in the S forum posted that having your S back should be the icing on the cake, not the cake itself, you are the cake my dear friend. I'm the path to D myself, and I have become, by God's grace, 10x a better woman than when I first posted on these boards, I've found myself and my worth on my very own without the man that used to be my H.
My dad sold all we had and brought my brother and me to this country 17yrs ago with nothing other than our clothes and 200$, he was in his late 50s, starting over again in a strange land, leaving his aging mom and all he knew, just for us, so his children could do better. My teenage brother resented him for years, things were a bit tough for him, him transitioning from boy to man didn't see the sacrifice my dad made. He had many angry arguments with my dad about "why did you bring me here? I didn't ask you to" and the worst "I didn't ask to be born, you brought me into this world". Words that hurt my father horribly. 17yrs later my brother has a great job, just put an addition to his home and wouldn't go back to my country if they paid him. Sometimes we have to make decisions that hurt us for the good of our children, and even then, we get grief from them. We can't control what happens to us, we can only control our minds, the rest is in God's hands. You made the decision to let your son go to his dad's, for his own good, asking your son if he wanted to be back was just punishment for you hon, he had already made peace with the fact he was moving out.
I will keep you in my prayers and pray for peace, that regardless what happens with s15, your other dds, ANYthing, that you remain a rock, steady and strong despite the worst of the storms. If leaving here accomplishes that, so be it, but dont' leave because things didnt go your way, leave because the DB boards have accomplished its task of creating a new confident ACJ. With love, cat03.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
