There's nothing that says you can't change your mind about what you've agreed to. I suggest you stop playing games with your wife ("so what's his name?" and "giving her gassey food"), and simply confront her, and lovingly yet firmly say:
"Wife, I have done a lot of thinking, and I am no longer comfortable with you dating other people while we are still married. I know what you're doing, including what you're planning on doing tomorrow, and it needs to stop -- now. It's incredibly disrespectful to me, and to our marriage."
You're enabling your wife's infidelity, and I don't understand why. I know you're thinking you're being "a nice guy," but if you'd read "No More Mr. Nice Guy," you would see how far that will get you. (In fact, if you just look at your own recent past, you'll see where it has been getting you).
I suggest you fight for your marriage. And having set that boundary (no open marriage), there's absolutely nothing wrong with trying to make her "date" as difficult as possible to pull off.
btw, there's nothing "controlling" about establishing clear boundaries and laying out the consequences for violating them. "Controlling" is dictating what the OTHER person can do. "Boundaries" are letting the other person know "Look, I cannot control you, but these are my boundaries, and I cannot stay married to you if you continue to violate them. I WILL protect myself."
