I think you are over-reacting and leaving the db-site.
You should maybe take a little break just to get your bearings again, but you have a wonderful support system here, with people who genuinely care about you.
It must be terribly hard for you to be without your Son, BUT it is also a wonderful break for you and it gives him a chance to be with his Dad.
When my S21 first left home to go to University, I was also grieving, and then a year later my D20 joined him.
It was a totally different thing then when H ran away from home.
Now they come to visit and it is so wonderful, they love being home, and appreciate things like home cooked meals and their Mummy doing their laundry.
Maybe it will also give him a chance to miss you and appreciate you.
Alison you are going to be OK, be patient with yourself, things are changing, just very slowly.
Hang in there.......
(((((((hugs))))))
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
