Anyone like me?

[SirPrizeMe]

WDID, you are addicted.
"I want my marriage" but then you listen to messages from OM.

The people here who talked of "rewriting history" - they are not kidding. It happens regularly. My wife rewrote everything in the throes of an affair. She even rewrote my parents' history! My parents had marriage troubles, then reconciled, this was 30 years ago. My wife rewrote it to say that my parents HATED each other. They are both gone now, may they rest in peace, which is why it is possible for her to rewrite it. But no one else - none of my siblings - see it this way. Just my wife. I'm telling you, it's real. The mental distortions are real. Please don't underestimate the seriousness. Your mind can play tricks with you. Puppy is exactly right.

You look at your husband and can't remember the good times. There's a chemical reason for this. It's not that those times were not there. It's that your brain is suffering from addiction. Don't get me wrong - I am not blaming you for this. It just is. And remember, you are not alone. You have support here.

But what is necessary is pretty clear. Get rid of the phone number. Change your email. Get the protection order to keep OM away from you and your family. Then, spend time with your hubby, even if it disgusts you or makes you wish for OM. These things are recommended by every expert. They may seem drastic and unpleasant, but they are necessary for your successful withdrawal and return to health.

If you can admit to yourself that you screwed things up pretty good so far, then it is not a big leap to decide to seek and follow wise counsel from this point going forward.