SF - fwiw, I think your h is very miserable and confused, alienated from himself.
I so strongly second this, SF. He is acting the furthest thing from happy.
Now I hope you'll accept this in the spirit offered: IMO, telling an alcoholic in MLC that he needs to "get right with God" is just a waste of your breath. You may be right, in fact I'm pretty sure you are, but you are still wasting your breath.
Really SF, if your H had cancer your D wouldn't cut him off until he got right with God, she would encourage him to get treatment and she would get support herself. I don't know if your H is an alcoholic, but I know he is behaving like one, and that is what AA is the treatment for. Soooo, I'm going to be a broken record, and ask again have you and the children tried Alanon and/or Alateen? IMO it would help you, and it would signal him, without in any way telling him what he should be doing. In DBing terms, it is validating him by NOT telling him what to do, and it is GALing, by taking positive action to address the effects this is all having on you.
JMO, and offered only because you sound so down right now.
