Ali--I love when you talk horoscope! I truly believe that Saturn Returns is something that H is going through.
OD--Thank you! I needed all your support.
There have been 2 guys really. They are completely different. But, dating them is helping me realize what I need in a partner.
I'll share with you little incidents. One that I'll share with you now is that one day, the first guy, who I'll call McBoyfriend, McBF (hehe), was supposed to come over. he had told me earlier in the day that he would be over around 8pm and we would order food. Well, 830 rolls around and he wasn't here. My blood starts boiling. At 9pm he calls me and says that he was on his way over. I was extremely cold to him on the phone. I asked him, "I thought you said you'd be over at 8?" He realized I was upset and said, "well, when you asked when I would be over, I guesstimated that it would be around 8. I wasn't really sure." He then continued to tell me about what he'd been up to ( I knew he was hanging out with a friend from childhood). I told him I would see him when he got to my place.
I hung up. And started crying.
I realized that when he was running late, my blood started boiling and I started getting anxious b/c it reminded me EXACTLY of when H would be late and not coming home. And what did I later find out that H was doing? Having an affair. So, I had transferred my feelings to McBF. When I spoke to him, I realized that he was telling me the truth, he was with his friends and that he had given me no reason to believe otherwise.
When I got off the phone with him, realizing why I had reacted that way, I just started crying hysterically. I realized that my anger really was hiding fear. I couldn't believe how it had affected with with someone else! When McBF got to my place, he could tell something was wrong. (he knows my situation). I started crying again and told him, telling him that I know that he was ok, but that it still scared me. I felt better sharing it with him.
My point in telling you this, is that what happened w. H and I stays with me. It can transfer across situations.
I have other stories similar to this that I will share later.
One of the biggest thing that I've realized while dating others is that I don't need to worry about them like I did with H. I'll share that next... To be continued...
H & I, both 32, together since 18. *M 7/03, A since 9/06. Bomb 7/07, H ended it w/ OW 9/08 * Agreed to D 6/09...very hard *D 8/10 * At peace, have become great friends w/ X-H and his new GF
(((((Beth83))))) I've been thinking about this for a while.
Here is my thinking on dating....
If you are still truly hoping, or working on, trying to restore your marriage I think it is not a great idea. Not because it is "wrong" or any of that. But because I wonder about if it is fail to the people you are seeing. Even if you are totally upfront about things, is it fair to them? You could convince me either way, depending upon the wind, but I worry about that one.
I've worried about that one too, Jeff. That is the stance of my mother. As McBF told me, he said that he is willing to take that risk because we enjoy each other's company.
In re to my marriage and my feelings on H--I don't even know what I want anymore from him. I've been thinking alot more in the broad sense, not what do I want from my marriage with H, but what would I want from a husband? from a marriage? H and I started dating when we were 18. My first real boyfriend. I never really grew up from the image of him I had as a teenager (the image being a cool kid in HS) and I never thought about what I would need from a husband or a marriage. At the time, it was just going to be him--the end.
H & I, both 32, together since 18. *M 7/03, A since 9/06. Bomb 7/07, H ended it w/ OW 9/08 * Agreed to D 6/09...very hard *D 8/10 * At peace, have become great friends w/ X-H and his new GF
