Hope, sorry about the surgery: and it is good that your mom is coming. It doesn't make you a charity case, you know.
Of course you should have told your h - he was a major part of your life for the longest time. If he were to have surgery you would be terribly hurt not to know.
Don't let their corruption of normal behaviour blind us to what is normal. I think he needed to know, you had a right to tell him, and it is good that you did.
